I'm going to kill him! ;)

So there I am this morning....lying in bed, fast asleep at 8:30 a.m.....and my phone rings and says "buddy the elf, what's your favorite color"...which is my text message notification ringtone....I rub my eyes...look around the room to see if it's still dark out....wonder what time it is, and then grab my cell to see whats all the ringing about.

I pick it up...and there's his name.  Mechanic guy.  I get that stupid half a sleep smile across my face and flip open the phone to see what he has to say....to my surprise, it's NOT..."good morning!"....he says THIS instead:

"I don't know what you did to me last night, but i woke up today wanting to kill the world and I'm in such a bad mood!  good job!"

First of all the man rarely uses exclamation points, so right away, i knew something was out of the ordinary.

me still being half asleep I say "Seriously?  What did I do?"

he says, "I don't know, but it must be your fault!"

So I say, "wow, um, what do i even say to that?  I'm sorry?"  (not having ANY idea what the hell I'm apologizing FOR at this point)

he says, "you should be!"  {again with those G-damned exclamation points!}

so I say, "do you not want to see me anymore?"

he says "wow thanks nice question! ! !"  {yeah, that was THREE exclamation points on that one, I can't make this shit up!}

so I say "I'm seriously asking, cuz you are giving me a heart attack over here..and i don't even know what I did!"  {figured i could use them too...I mean, if he can, why can't I?}

he comes back with "I'm only playin...damn!"  {ok, the points are staring to feel as if they are taunting me now!}

so I say to him "not fair, you can't try and give me a heart attack before nine a.m.  I'm still in bed for Christ sakes!"  then i said, "plus, are you trying to kill me, you know heart problems run in my family. :)"

then he complimented me on my nice use of a guilt trip....we had a nice exchange....and I got up and let the dog and my self out and up to pee....and came to my computer to see you guys....

So this morning....a very mean boy woke me up with mean boy shenanigans.  if you ever read these headlines on your AOL homepage..."WOMAN FOUND DEAD AFTER BEING SCARED TO DEATH BY MEAN BOY!"

you might want to just skim that one and make sure it's not me!

New years resolution...maybe the only one I'll make:

After this  {should this one not last}....No more mean boys!

Mechanic Guy might put me right into retirement... if not the grave with his heart stopping morning text messages. 

Have a Happy New Year Everyone!  Be Nice, be festive...be safe.

!!! yours,

~hl~

What I'm Listening to this week (for my music lover readers):

Balloon Update:

 Balloon Update:

So, the last we spoke, I told you about my balloon issue. Do I cut and run…and watch my pretty balloon float off and up into nonexistence.

Thing is, I really like my balloon. Am I always sure what the hell I’m supposed to DO with a balloon? Eh, not really….but it doesn’t mean my fondness for it diminishes.

Anyway….so I contemplated cutting the tie…and saying adios….but, I just couldn’t do it without one last ditch effort to “understand” that which I obviously do not.

I am horrible about giving up on people. I always have this desire to understand….even though that scared little girl part of me says “RUN! HIDE! PLAY DEAD….or TAG YOU’RE IT!” As an adult, I don’t want to listen to that scared little girl….she always gets me into a cycle of dysfunction….one which my older version of myself knows better than to be a party to.

I don't want to run, I want to be brave enough to ask questions when in doubt ...I don't want to run, I want to be honest with myself and just say what's on my mind...and if HE runs...well then he runs.  But I don't want to run.  Not towards him, and not away from him either.  I'm thinking that perhaps my new move will be sauntering.  Slowly... stroll... casually meander to where I'm going.  Wherever that may be.

And…..tomorrow night….me and my balloon will be going out for New Years Eve. Officially. I mean, we had spoke several times about the fact that we’d see each other on New Years….in boy-terms that meant we were already secured in seeing each other…while ME on the other hand was like…are we or aren’t we?

The thing is, I’ve dated a lot. I have. Have I had a lot of “relationships”?…eh, no. Relationships and I are iffy, but dating, dating I’ve done. I’ve dated all sorts of creatures…some I liked, some I didn’t…some were fun, but were nothing more…the point is, rarely have I come across guys that stand out in a crowd quite like Mechanic Guy. Sure there was my “Rainbow”…but I met him like TEN YEARS ago….I’ve not met a whole lot of exceptionally interesting boys since. A couple passionate ones, one ex-lover returned and rekindled some OLD feelings from a million years ago….a couple cocky/flirty ones…but not like this. He’s different. In a good way.

I could cut and run….hell I still might down the road somewhere….but what’s the worst that could happen here? I get hurt? Yeah, yeah, that’s a possibility, but the alternative of NEVER getting hurt…or never getting close enough to anyone to GET hurt….well, where’s the fun in that?

Bottom line, he’s worth the risk in my eyes. If he’s going to hurt me…well then….I guess I’d rather risk getting hurt by him, than sailing smoothly on with anyone else.

And yes, that’s a quote straight out of the “self destructive behavior text book” that I apparently wrote! *laughs*

I kid…I kid….

snowflakes & smiles,

~hl~

I Like....

Watching Country Music Videos....on Sunday mornings...in my pajamas, in my big red chair, wrapped up in my Harley Davidson Blanket....

I like cold pizza for breakfast on occasion....

I like my coffee with lots of cream....

and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies....

I like football....and drinking six dollar beers at a Toledo Mudhen's game in the middle of the week....for no special occasion at all....

I like the smell of sheets straight off the clothes line...

I like my house, my bed, and i like the new fuzzy slipper/socks I got for Christmas....

What I DON'T like is feeling like a crazy person.  I don't like feeling like a heroin addict in rehab...sitting on my hands waiting for the urge to pass.

I DON'T like feeling like I'm chasing a shooting star, with no hope of ever catching it....

I like Mechanic Guy..quite a lot, but while his lips when pressed to mine are hot enough to melt my face off...sadly, I must face the fact that I'm fairly certain, he likes his life "AS IS"....to see him, I have to suggest it, to talk to him, I must contact HIM....I am fairly certain, that should I stop this pursuit....I'd never hear from him again.

I knew I shouldn't of gotten him a present.....*sighs*

*takes off running shoes*

*puts down the phone*.....

I am not the kind of girl who wants to nail a guy down....anymore than I myself want to be nailed to the ground....I dont' like the weight of a ball and chain....but for me, the RIGHT guy is more of a balloon tied to my wrist than a ball to my ankle...they lift you up...not weight you down.

So I've had a rainbow with no pot of gold....

and now a balloon tied to my wrist that I fear I'm about to cut loose.....

*shrugs*

~hl~

Uncool:

In the movie "Almost Famous".....Lester Bangs delivers one of my most favorite movie quotes of all time....he says: 

The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.

 And I'm a big, big fan of that theory.

So let me give you a glimpse of just how UN-cool your friend HeatherLynn really is:

We'll start with Mechanic guy.  Saturday I actually got the big invite to his house....yay right?!  Yeah!  It was great, I had such a nice time with him....I got an entire day with him and at the end of the night, as his kid, two dogs, him and the ferret were all passed out asleep while watching Night at the Museum 2...I was awake, looking around at my surroundings of sleeping dogs...which you ALWAYS let lie....a little boy with tousled hair and curled up on his section of the couch cushion...and Mechanic Guy's head on my shoulder...snoring softly in my ear.  With anyone else, that might of annoyed me, but it was HIM.....and I wasn't annoyed in the least...he looked so peaceful, so handsome...even while unconscious.  I couldn't help but kiss him on the top of his head as he slept there on my shoulder....anyway...sorry I'm getting sidetracked, the point is, that this is all very new still...and I've yet to figure him out, so there's a lot of times I'm like "does he like me?"  "Does he not?"  He's a tough one to read...as when it comes to relationships, he's a self proclaimed "skiddish guy"...which is hilarious, because before I met him, I thought that "I" was the most relationship-skiddish person in town.  He's giving me a run for my money in this department.  So after such a great, great time with him on Saturday...I finally felt like I could breathe a little easier...this whole "does he/doesn't he?" thing can tie ya up in knots inside....

But then Sunday...didn't really hear from him / talk to him much...Monday even less than Sunday...and Tuesday....lets not even talk about Tuesday....errrr...well ok, we HAVE to talk about Tuesday, because this whole post is about what happened yesterday on my way home from work.

So there I was driving home....this being when in the past, if I hadn't heard from him all day, he'd text me around this hour....but nope, my caller id, never lit up.  So I started thinking....ummmmm....should I text him?  No, No, I HATE chasing boys...I don't want to be "that girl"....but dangit, I want to talk to him!!  So then, it came to me...my car's been leaking transmission fluid and I finally checked it, diagnosed it's lowness as he advised me to do, and I intended on putting some fluid in when I got home....but how much should I funnel in?  So I just whipped up my phone and called him.  Might I mention that while we've seen each other a handful or two of times...texted messaged until my fingers bled...but...I've NEVER called him before.  I thought I might throw up...my legs were all twitchy...and I was biting my lip harder with each ring....and then he answered!  and I was like "um hey!"  (super smooth opener huh?)  He says hi back, and I say "I have a question for you"....his voice automatically turned to leery upon my statement of questioning....and says ..."Ummmm...alright"....and I say (to reassure him)..."a car question"....so I ask my question, he asks me some questions....tells me to add a quart, and be sure to check it again after adding it, yada, yada...car stuff...yada yada..etc.  And then I'm like...well thanks.  I really appreciate it.  and he's like "well it's nice to know someone you can call so you don't have to take your car to shop all the time"..and I'm like.."Um, well, I, ...I...I....(yes i have a new stutter/stammer I didn't have before)...I didn't JUST call about my car, I mean, I thought it'd be a good opener (*cringes*..did I really just confess calling him with an OPENER in mind...I did?!!  SHIT!)...and then I said: "I mean, I wanted to talk to you too....I didn't call only about the car"  All the while he's laughing and sounding thoroughly amused by my awkwardness.

*sighs*.....

What started out as a small crack in my super cool exterior....is quickly becoming a landslide of girlie nervousness and teenage awkwardness.  I'm a confident 31 year old woman, with a professional job, my own home....bank accounts and everything...I'm a grown up dang it!  ACT LIKE IT HEATHER!!  Pull yourself together woman!!!  *slaps myself in the face*

So...I just thought you should know...I'm a nerd.  or geek...or nervous wreck over here.  There, you have it folks.....Heather Lynn is uncool.

~hl~

Ohio: 4 A.M.: a post: "The Early Edition"

When you're a kid, people ask you all the time, what do you want to be when you grow up...and I always replied, "I want to be a veterinarian and a horse trainer!"  Where do you want to live..."In a big white farm house, in the country, with horses and chickens" (i actually remember saying this)...

Do you want to have a family?  I never knew.  I mean, I guess it's what seems "the norm" to have a husband and kids and stuff....so I guess while I never really imagined it, I guess I just always accepted the reality of the possibility of one.  Anyway the point is, I'm NOT a veterinarian....although i assisted many times with autopsies with Dr. Lewis.  I'm not a vet and but i know how to accurately give injections, lance a cyst in a horse's neck, help birth a foal...and even once had to stick my hand up a deer's hoooha...and pull out a dead baby fawn that was making it's momma septic.  But I'm not a veterinarian.

I've been a horse trainer...as my folks had a stable all through my years growing up...I trained the horses my father brought home from the auction...I got older, bought my own horses and trained THEM...I was good at it.  But i'm not a horse trainer.

I DID get married.  Bought a big ole white farm house in the country....had horses AND chickens, dogs etc.  I was wife...contemplated being a mother....and even took on a new role as college student....and then graduate...

But now...I'm no longer a wife....I left my big ole white farm house, life of chickens and horses behind....became a divorcee instead of a wife and mother....and became a Paralegal.

My first 30 years have been interesting.  And on my 30th birthday, when I was so sick that my Dr. actually told me that I had such a severe infection that if "complications' were to arise and it not react to antibiotics as they hope, I could get meningitis...and die.  I could lose my eyesight in my left eye...it could be MRSA and go all flesh eating....the point is, I wasn't sure I was going to make it there for a minute...but I did.

I wasn't sure I'd make it through divorce...but I did.

I wasn't always sure I'd be a wife...but I was.

And a Paralegal?  Swear to God, never saw THAT coming...

I traded my country farm house, for a town house that I feel like I've spent my whole life waiting to find (btw, I LOVE my new house)....I have a little black and white dog that keeps me grounded....a job that takes care of me, a boss who respects me....a family that loves me...and friends who nourish my soul on a DAILY basis.  Yeah, I'm not  vet, or a horse trainer....and I'm a long way from where I THOUGHT I'd be....it's nothing like I had imagined, yet everything I that a girl could want.

I guess my life is very much like my Rice Krispy treats....very much an experiment.  Trial and Error, Trial and Error.

It's a Rice Krispy Emergency, Please ADVISE:

Ok, so I wanted to do something nice for the boy who laid that toe curling kiss on me last week....so I thought I'd invite him for dinner with me at my residence.  I texted him the invite...waited for a reply....didn't get one.  *pouts*....so I decided well, it's Sunday, I like to have a good meal on a Sunday....it was 3:00 p.m....and I was starving....ah, well, I'll just make something wonderful and maybe, I'll hear from him later and then I'll be prepared.

So I went grocery shopping, got my supplies....made a great ham and potato casserole type thing in the crock pot and then I decided to do something I've never done before...I attempted to make Rice Krispy Treats.  The peanut butter ones.  I was pretty excited about it.  I got a recipe off line....read several, realized they were all the same as regular ones, plus a 1/2 a cup of peanut butter.  Well sounds easy enough right?  WRONG.  I mean, well while making them was easy, cutting them was difficult, they were hard as a rock!  I stabbed myself in the stomach with the knife (only a flesh wound), and cut my shirt!  it bled, but don't worry, i didn't get any on the treats, however, what the heck?  Why would a half a cup of PB make normal oooowey, goooey treats hard and crunchy?

So when I got the text that "Mechanic Guy" (as I will refer to him from here on out) couldn't make it due to other plans...I was left with rock hard Rice Krispies...a puncture wound on my tummy..and a bloody ripped up shirt...I thought *shrugs*...maybe it's best he couldn't make it.

However, when he asked what fabulous dinner he was missing out on, and i replied....he was pretty bummed about missing out on it and mentioned that he LOVES Rice Krispy treats....so, I said I'd make them for him some other time.  So I MUST iron out this recipe before I see him again....so what can i do to make this right?  My flesh wound, I know how to fix, the food, not so much.  Do I add more marshmallows?  Less cereal?  and if i add more marshmallows...do I have to add more butter?

Someone help me, the next stab wound might get something important, and i can't afford to lose any vital organs over this.....as you can see, i'm cooking for a man, so it's safe to say I obviously  have already lost my mind....and if I'm not careful...maybe my heart...so you can see where a girl is really going to need her kidneys, liver and the like.....

sooo...heeeeeeeeeelp?  puhleeeeeze?

Frustrated, smitten and bleedingly yours,

~hl~

THE <3 OF THE MATTER:

So before I can tell you anything about the boy I kissed the other night….or well, before I decide IF I’m going to write about him….I wanted to tell you this….

Some people think my taste in men is skewed. I’ve dated old guys…even a young one once, I’ve dated light haired men, dark haired men, tall ones, short ones….one had psoriasis, one pegged his jeans past when pegging the jeans was cool….one thought camouflage was the most stylish “fancy” looking attire a man could wear.

The point is, I’m not entirely hung up on looks….or maybe I should say this I’ve liked guys that were NOT traditionally handsome….sometimes, their personality just really MAKES them handsome in my eyes. I can’t explain it….it’s just that I’m a fan of a man with “heart” and who is a “character”….I mean, the man you laugh with, the man who can make you laugh when you want to cry…the man you go everywhere with, and is happy to be going where ever…so long as it’s with him….well that’s the guy I like to spend my time with.

There was this one kid, his name was Jeff B. He was a 7th grader and I was a 6th grader. And from the moment he met me, he was smitten with me. This kid wrote me letters all day long, sending them through long chains of people to get them to me, no matter what class I was in, I even once got one in the girls locker room….*laughs*…he would call me every night…and he kept asking me out, which in the 6th grade, “going steady” was just a title to tell your friends that someone was your boyfriend or girlfriend. You didn’t really go out, or do ANYTHING…but he was dead set on making me his. Naturally, my friends were like ewwwwwwww….GROSS!!!!!! you CAN NOT go out with JEFF B!!! He’s not even cute! And they were right, he wasn’t impressive in any way in his physical attributes….but he had so much heart. And that kid, in all his 7th grade heart, loved me more than any other living creature. I wholeheartedly believe he would of taken a bullet for me…it was painful to deny him day in and day out. He never gave up either. When I wouldn’t make him my boyfriend, he set out to be THERE for me for whatever I needed. Said that my friendship and company was all he wanted, so if he couldn’t have me for his own, then he’d be anything I’d let him be to me. The kid had heart coming out his ears….

But none…more so, than when he, on my birthday, which let me remind you, my birthday is February 16th…..do you know how cold it is on February 16th in Ohio?....anyway…on my birthday, he borrowed Mike N’s Moped, and the two of them rode double…on the snowy and icy roads on TWO wheels….in the freezing cold winter air…one with two hands on the handle bars, and one holding a delicate red rose….which incidentally FROZE on it’s journey from the town of Delphos, to the three mile journey to my remote country home.

Mike and Jeff’s faces were frozen, their hands were that of ice….and it took them SOOOOO long to arrive on my doorstep from when they called to tell me they were coming….I watched and daydreamed while staring out the window awaiting their arrival. Finally, through the blowing snow…I heard the rumble of their little engine….I saw the distant glow of their one little moped light….and it touched my heart.

I accepted the rose, and I hugged them both…offered them my home to warm up in, however, neither of them apparently told their parents there were on a mission of death….that even Evil Knievel himself wouldn’t of embarked on…so they jumped back on the moped, did some snow moped doughnuts to show off for me like only Jr. High boys would do…and then they putted out of sight once more….gone into the blowing snow, darkness and frozen Ohio night.

The rose fell apart as soon as I took it inside and it thawed out…petal by petal it disintegrated in front of my eyes….*laughs*…after all the strife to get it to me, they weren’t even back to Delphos before the last petal fell….leaving it completely barren.

For two weeks following this journey….this expression of the sweetest love and dedication….Jeff B was my boyfriend. Two weeks in Jr. High is quite the long term relationship. I wore his jacket….he waited for me by my locker to walk me to class….and he talked about how one day we’d get married and have little strawberry blonde babies who looked just like me….

I’ve never regretted my past dating record. People still to this day are like, “YOU DATED JEFF B?!?!?!?!?!?!”….I say “yeah, I did, before he was a bad kid, he was just a good kid, from a bad situation….before his days of jail and seedy lifestyle….he was just a strawberry blonde Axl rose fan, who wanted to get my name tattooed to his arm…..so yeah, I dated him.”

The guy had heart….and I respect that. I always seem to be able to see the good in people…maybe I just TRY to see the good in people…either way…I don’t get hung up on things like social status, circumstance, last names, jobs, fancy cars….illegitimate kids….baby momma drama…or the like….that shit is like pluses and minuses on a elementary grade card…doesn’t mean a whole hell of a lot in the grand scheme of things….if someone has heart…on TOP of a couple negatives…I think it all evens out.

Now, this same “equal-opportunity-dating” has gotten me into trouble in the past…but man, I tell ya, I’ve learned so much, and had some of THE best and THE worst experiences! But I wouldn’t change em’ and I wouldn’t take em’ back…because right or wrong…good or bad…it’s all made ME a better person….and I can’t thank ALL the Characters of my life enough for their roles in making me who I am…and teaching me about not just who I wanted to be, but also by teaching me what kind of person I didn’t want to be.

So….with all of THAT said….remember this if I, should I, ever decide to tell you more about whom I did the locking of the lips with ….I’m normally all about sharing my good news…but, in a way, THIS time, I’m feeling quite protective over this one. Holding it very near and dear to my heart….like if I tell, it won’t be my little spark of happiness anymore…it will be everyone’s….open for interpretation…open for objection…or something. Anyway, now I’m just typing my thoughts onto paper with no real direction….ok, shutting up now….

EEOD’edly Yours,

~hl~

Brought to you by the Makers of Halls: A RE-POST {requested by Bathwater...you can blame him for it! ;)}

I know this is totally uncouth, but seriously, ever notice how when you suck on cough drops, say maybe for a few hours....the inside of your cheek becomes textured, and it's basically the texture of a man's testicles? I know, I know right, I'm gross, I have no manners....right, you are absolutely right, but so am I. Go suck on some....drops not testicles if you don't believe me.

For all you virgins out there, you might not be able to appreciate this post much....but then again, who am i kidding, NONE of my friends are virgins....so I guess this disclaimer isn't needed now is it?

Here I am, sitting at my desk, trying to get outta pony mode and into paralegal mode...and I keep running my tongue along the inside of my cheek and I can't help but laugh. My co-worker John looks at me today as I sit there smirking while working on a client's Shared Parenting Plan and he says "whats wrong with you? You look like the cat that just ate the canary!" I didn't have the heart to tell him that it wasn't the canary, it was testicular-esque cheek effect that had me smiling. For I'd surely never live THAT down.

Bet you don't know how many cough drops you need to get you from Chicago to Delphos. Any takers? 4.5, Four point Five cough drops ought to do the job if you are a conservative sucker. I'm not sure how many miles per drop that is, as I’ve not done the math, but I've got the ballsack effect in my mouth to prove I took part in the experiment if you don't believe me.

Halls.....we put the oral in "oral anesthetic."

~hl~


{this post was was also inspired to be reposted by Travis at "I like to Fish"....whom you can find on the side bar of my blog.  He wrote a great blog about testicals...that you all must really check out if you like ballsack humor like this. *winks*}

Things that put a girl in a better mood:

first kisses....

Nothing will right a particularly WRONG week, like the sparks of being kissed on the steps of your Jr. High School, completely caught off guard...so much in fact, that I dropped my purse...and if he hadn't been holding on to me, I very well might of toppled right over....

Thank god it was cold out...

I needed the cold air to hit me in the face to snap me back to reality.

Goodness!

Never saw it coming!

What an amazingly surprising night.

*sighs*

That's one thing I just LOVE about life, you just never know what's in store for you just around the corner.

~hl~

IMU

There are three men in a girl's life that should never break her heart....

#1 - Her Father - {shit, this could get ugly for me}

#2 - Her Brother - {eff me, that's minus two for me so far}

and #3 - Her BGP (Best guy pal)....and congratulations, I've officially AS OF TONIGHT, been devastated by all three of them.

Let me tell you about my best guy pal Darren.  I've wrote about him several times in this very blog, he and I have been "podners" as we called ourselves since day one, since we were like "peas in a pod" we were.  Immediate friends..kindred spirits if you will.  Our birthdays are a day apart from one another, we both got divorced at the same time, he's been my shoulder to cry on when some other stupid boy hurt my heart....and I've been there to love and support him through his own turmoil.....his dating woes...his attempts at rebuilding himself and his life...we were going through so many of the same things....

Until about three months ago, when Darren became a missing person.  Well, missing from my life anyway.  I was prepared to lose him a little due to his recent new girlfriend, I knew my days of being his #1 myspace friend were numbered, THAT i was prepared for...but THIS!??!?!?  THIS I was NOT prepared for.

He just disappeared.  Vamoose, Gone, MIA, Vanished into thin air.  I called him, left voicemail...nothing.  I texted...nothing.  I e-mailed, nothing.  I called his office, they said he no longer worked there.  I myspaced him, he deleted his account.  I myspaced his girlfriend {whom btw, had been talking to me nearly everyday on google chat up to this point}...she deleted HER myspace.  Now before you go thinking I'm a crazy stalker....you have to understand Darren and I, we weren't just acquaintances...I spoke to him damn near every day.  We called on the way TO work, on the way HOME from work, we IM'ed AT work....I was his emergency contact person for christ sakes.

So when he went missing, my heart sank.  What could of happened to cause his departure.  was it something I did?  And why won't he return a call, email, text, smoke signal?  I mean, I tried everything....short of showing up on his doorstep, and I would have done just that if I knew where he moved to.  Him and new girlfriend got a place together....and I hadn't been there yet.

After so many unanswered texts...I started sending things like:

"are you in the witness relocation program?"

"are you CIA?"

"Did you get mixed up with the MOB?"

"Are you at the bottom of a river with cement boots?"

I begged, I pleaded, just tell me you're ok, if you never want to talk to me again, fine, i'll never say another word to you, just let me know you're ok!  .....only to be returned in silence.

Until last night.  I texted him this:  "Christmas is now ten days away, sure would like my best friend back this Christmas"

He responded with:  "Merry Christmas, this year I'm giving you ME"

I nearly died of a heart attack when his name popped up on my caller ID...could it really be him?!

He said it would take 100 texts to explain everything, and he promised to call me tonight, BEFORE 8:00 p.m. when I had to go into work at my second job.  I even texted him this afternoon and was like, "I can't wait to finally talk to you!"

Eight o'clock came and went....the phone never rang.  My heart is broken.  Your best friends aren't supposed to break your heart.  They are the people who protect your heart, safeguard it, they threaten boy suitors that if they hurt you, they'll break their face...they aren't supposed to be the ones causing YOU pain.

I'm an aquarian, and one thing known of aquarians is that once affection is earned by an Aquarian, it's not easily lost.  We are die hard believers in the good in people...especially when we've seen it first hand.  We cannot accept that someone we know and love could be a piece of shit....because that just doesn't make sense with the way we think....so I'm having a really really hard time wrapping my brain around this....and those of you who know me...when my heart is falling...the brain is normally too numb to help rationalize the trauma.

I miss my friend.  And tonight, MY FRIEND could of ripped my heart out of my chest and spit on it....and it wouldn't of disappointed me any more than the nothingness he bestowed upon me.

If ever there was a lesson in disappointment....I'm certain this would be it.

empty,

~hl~

You know:

 

Nothing makes you feel quite like a kid again like sipping from a juicebox.

AND....

I just got my daily 100% of Vitamin C.

One small step for....woman...one giant step for vitamin C intake...and my childlike wonderment enrichment program.

the deed is done....

I used to be this...

and now....

 

I did it.  It's done.

Did I owe him a pre-warning before I did it you think? 

I mean, we've been broke up for weeks.....

What is the protocol in situations like this...?

NOT AGAIN!

First let me apologize for not being around barely at all this weekend, my Big Sis, brother-in-law, little Sister, Mom, Aunts, Cousins, two dogs...anyway, the point is, I've had a busy weekend...full of Christmas, family time and shopping, I think I spent more time in a shopping center than I did eating, sleeping and blinking my eyeballs...tomorrow morning ends this trend however, as they are all going back home...and I'll be back to my old blog reading & responding self....so bare with me a tad longer if you can swing it.

it's nearing one a.m., everyone here is upstairs sleeping....so I'm here now, and thought I'd share a little something from my weekend with you.

So my mom comes over Saturday morning, and me and my sister Angie are just hanging out talking...and my mom shows up with a store sack, thrusts it over to Ang and says, there's something in there for you and Heather....my mom says, "pick out the one you want"....like a bratty little sister, I think to myself, "why does SHE get to pick first"...guess that whole kid sister complex never really goes away....you just learn how to not let it come flying out of your mouth by age 31.  Anyway....so ang pulls out THIS:

Naturally Ang selects "Team Edward" and I'm left with "Team Jacob"....man was I pissed.  I mean, I didn't even give a shit about the candy, I was just PISSED!

I mean, I haven't been THIS pissed since Christmas 1991 when I got an Effin "BRANDON" T-shirt and Cousin Denise got "DYLAN"....Everyone knows Dylan was the hot one...I mean, Brandon?  C'mon that guy worked at the Peach Pit!  So not cool!  Might as well of given me a "STEVE SANDERS" T-shirt and got the tar beat out of me on the playground for being a total LOSER!

 

One day, ONE DAY, I'm going to get me a leading man, ....not a supporting cast!  Even if it IS just on a chocolate bar! HA!

Ang, your days of getting first choice are numbered....

 Perhaps this is my punishment for getting the biggest boobs in my family....although, girls, I got to tell you, it's a contest I'd just of assumed NOT won!  These things are a pain to haul around most days!  Here!  You can have em!

K, thanks, night.

.............

~hl~

Attention Blood Sucker Lovers:

Look what "I" got for Christmas....

So here's what....I'm going to re-read the entire series...starting on New Years Day.

I know I haven't started the book club that I have been meaning to start for months now (Sorry Diane, Ash, Rach), but until we do, I'm going to dive back into a series of books that will distract me from the fact that it's winter in Ohio.  Freezing, snow, blowing, shoveling, sliding, heating bills, having to let the dog out when it's so cold it takes your breath away....yeah, it's winter in Ohio and I'm in need of a protective bubble.

Twilight seems to be right up my alley.

So who's with me?  Anyone want to re-read, or perhaps read for the first time?

If so, I'm starting New Years day...

Feel free to join me.

Vampirishly Yours,
~hl~

My Next New Car:

So the Neon is no more.  Yes, sadly I must face the facts, they aren't going to make me a new neon someday.  So I've kinda been wondering what my next model of car would be, well folks, I think I found one...at least a front runner anyway!

Meet the 2011 Chevy Cruze:

 

I kinda want one!

and 40 mpg is just ONE of it's selling points!

Love the blue and black interior....

Baby it's Cold outside:

Greetings from Ohio....

I wish I could say I write to you from the warmth of a crackling fire...toes toasty, fingers pink and warm....however, it's cold.  my toes are frosty:

Today, the high was 17 degrees Fahrenheit.

Wind was out of the west, and yesterday were in gusts up to 50 mph.

Do you know what 17 degrees feels like when it's coming at you at 50 miles per hour?

Yesterday, it was so blustery, that as I was driving home in my Neon, feeling like I was in a scene straight out of the Wizard of Oz, set in subzero temperatures....I got passed by a leaf.  Yes, there I was, hands at ten and two, trying to maintain control over my little car...and there it went, a leaf, passing me on the left as if i was sitting still.  I looked at the leaf, it glanced at me and then it went on by, in the hurry it was in and quickly pulled away from me and my neon.  I even said out loud..."Did I just get passed by a LEAF???"

N E way, at any rate....it's days like today, that are not fun wintry days that make you want to frolic and throw snowballs at your teenage boy-cousin across the street....they are not the days you want to Christmas shop, shovel sidewalks, or even drink hot coco....no folks, days like this, you want to crawl into bed, in flannel PJ pants, your red American Eagle Hooded sweatshirt, Harley Davidson beanie cap, under your hood that's up....wool socks, a good book, crawl under six tons of blankets....that fill the space between your mattress and the ceiling, sealing off the space for coldness to find it's way near you and not come out of your room until spring.

I truly think bears are genius...i mean, hibernation, why can't we do that?!

Live off our own fat for a few months, wake up refreshed, skinny and in the mood for baby making...yes, i TOTALLY think bears are on to something here!

{Me slipping into hibernation mode}

oh, an also, I'm officially an old lady....This morning, after putting my gloves on "just so" and my hat was tugged and pulled until IT was "just so"...I fastened my clasps and grabbed up my purse and headed out the door, but not before I tucked a little blanket under my arm.  To which I ever so precisely unrolled out over my lap and tucked into and under my sides to keep my legs warm.

In 31 years, I've never done this.  Why I decided today was the day I'd turn into a ninny, I have no idea!

"it's the cold, it's'a'makin'me'cah-razy!"

is it spring yet?

--------------------------------

and this at the suggestion of one of my favorite bloggers DKN:

So get this:

Two of my Aunts & Uncles & Grandma all live right outside of town.  Near US 30.  A fairly major highway that runs east and west across the state.  So over the weekend, and old friend of mine, Doug was cruising from Fort Wayne to Ohio on this course, pulls off on the exit ramp at State Route 66 and US 30 and finds a man laying in the roadway, it's freezing cold, in the 20's..he was freezing, rolling around, bloodied face and shot in the leg.  Doug calls 911, the cops come...guy goes to hospital after he reports he was a victim of a car jacking.

I think to myself, wow, this happened HERE, in lil ole Delphos, Ohio...inaccurately labeled "America's Friendliest City"...but while we might not ACTUALLY be America's Friendliest City, we aren't a city that car jackings occur, nobody really shoots other people here...mostly the shot ones, shot themselves...but that's not the point...the point is, Delphos is a small town, with not much crime or violence besides your average town domestic scuffles and bar fights.  I mean, Delphos is "small town"...to the point that it is the kind of place where you know the guy (who lives a state away now) that found the guy and called 911 !  It's as small town as they come.

So you can imagine surprise AGAIN, when after hearing about this tragic event, I hear the whole thing was a HOAX!  The guy apparently confessed to making the whole thing up.  Staging the entire thing.  Why would a guy, shoot himself in the leg, after stashing his car over in a nearby town...smashing in his own face to make it bloody, and then laying his shot self down in 25 degree temperatures, on a cold exit ramp of a nearby highway...on the off chance that the person exiting the highway wasn't texting or fiddling for an atlas, and would SEE him and stop instead of running his carcass over?!?!?!

This is such an odd story.....

Here's the Article from the Delphos Herald: (yes, we're small but we do have our own boring paper....that usually has little to NO real news to report...)

-----------------------------------------------------

Carjacking was a hoax

Published:  Monday, December 7, 2009 (2 days, 15 hours ago)

Print E-mail

Van Wert County Sheriff Stan D. Owens released today that the investigation into the aggravated robbery and felonious assault at the U.S. 30 and State Route 66 off ramp will lead to charges filed against the alleged victim, Scott T. Foust, 52 of Delphos. The prosecutor’s office will be consulted regarding these charges.

Sheriff Owens advised that at 8:43  p.m. Friday, the Van Wert County Sheriff’s Office Communications Center received a 911 call from a motorist advising that a man had been shot at S.R. 66 and U.S. Route 30 on the off ramp. The caller advised that a black 1994 Ford pickup truck had been stolen from the man and was east bound on U.S. 30 towards Beaverdam. At 8:53 p.m., the first responding deputy arrived on the scene. Delphos EMT’s were on the scene at that time tending to the alleged victim, Foust, who claimed that when he stopped on the exit ramp two subjects approached his vehicle and pulled him from his truck. One of the subjects supposedly hit Foust in the head with a bottle then shot him in the lower leg before leaving him there and taking his pickup truck. Foust was later transferred to a Lima hospital for treatment. Detective’s subsequent investigation on Sunday revealed the reported incident had not occurred, that in fact Foust had shot himself and had staged the entire event.

Sheriff Owens said Foust admitted making up the story. He also said details would be released after the investigation concludes in a couple of days but many questions remain, including how the truck got to Elm Street and Eastown Road.

“I think he had the truck put there. Those details will come out later once we conclude our investigation,” he said.

Owens plans to give the file to the prosecutor, who will determine whether to pursue charges, which could include misdemeanor or felony charges for falsifying the report.

“It could be a felony; it depends on what the prosecutor feels is appropriate. I hope to have the investigation wrapped up in the next couple of days. Then, we’ll get the file to the prosecutor and consult with him,” he said.

No charges are being considered for the shooting, which is not believed at this time to include any other party.

I did it again!

Yep, that's right.  I deleted him again.  actually....TWO hims.  down.  gone.  vamoose.

I would freaking high-five myself if I thought my office mates wouldn't have me strapped in a straight jacket and hauled off by men in white.

I have a lot of riff-raff in my life....it's everywhere too...my inbox, my contact lists...texts, voicemails...I'm one haunted individual over here.  So two ghosts were deleted today....so I can't summon them in a weak moment.....a weak moment that normal people call a friend....but I call upon my rainbow, or some other very bad for me kind of company....maybe there'd be Chinese food, and bad fortune cookies....followed by sake a movie and sultry kisses that turn a good girl bad....or a football game and foot rubs...followed by lusty longful stares that turn into making coffee for them in the morning....the point is, I deleted them.  It's been a long time since I caved and actually SAW them,...and like my smoking, I've been so good lately, why fall back into my old bad habits?  I can't flush them down the toilet like a broken cigarette, but I CAN hit, "delete, delete, delete"....until there's nothing left of them.

....Can't bring  myself to delete Pablo though.  He stays.  For now....and I STILL haven't changed my myspace status, or facebook to reflect the fact that he and I aren't still in coupledom bliss....*sighs*...I just can't do it....it seems callous.

It is possible Pablo and I could "just" be friends someday....but the other two deletions....no good can come from.  Well, ok, some good came from it, but it was a very "bad" kind of good....fleeting at best.....

So adios my pretties....it was a pleasure having you....but now buh-bye.

Decidedly yours,

~hl~

Wigs it is....

until the "Hair Fiasco of 2009" (as I'm calling it) is over...I'll be looking more like this!

 

 and less like this:

So if you see me on the street, don't be alarmed...say hello!

Hopefully things will be back to normal come say, ummm...new years?

Other wiggy looks include:

 

 

So if I'm ever on America's most wanted...now you have all my looks! lol

There's no escaping justice now unless i go bald!

Hairy in Ohio,

~hl~

ps:  new pictures over on the photo blog for those of you who might be interested:  Photoblog