It's the Latest Craze....

So Steph and I always say how we'd like to take a dance class...maybe ball room, maybe a hip/hop type..anyway....tonight we were looking through the YMCA health, wellness and fitness class section of our YMCA Program Guide and saw they added a new class. It's called Zumba and has really become quite the craze here in Ohio.

It's an hour long work out of danced based moves to a Latin type music...it's really kind of fun looking. So come January 7th...It's going to be on. Steph and I will be shaking our booties to the groove of a Latin persuasion.

I only have until February to get in tip top shape...want to be looking my best for the big Chicago trip...if i have to turn 30, i might as well do it while looking my all time best!

Christmas 2007

Hello my angels! Tis the day after Christmas and I'm happy to report that not only did I survive them, I did so while maintaining my recently found good spirits. Holy crap that's amazing!

I'm on vacation....I got great gifts....I got to see and spend time with people I actually like being around..and tomorrow I am free do do whatever I please! I'm not obligated to be anywhere...and I plan to go everywhere....well, everywhere I want anyways.

This year, the gifts I received were a bit on the practical side...but I love them nonetheless. My mother got me AAA which always comes in handy...Brooke hooked me up with a shower head that I no longer have to bend over to get under to rinse my hair.....I got gift certificates for food, and also one to get my hair done at my salon. My fingers will be warm in my new gloves, my toes in my new slippers.....and my eyes....oh, my eyes will be fully entertained while watching my new 32" television. Okay, so a 32" television is like no big deal...but to me it TOTALLY IS!! When you are used to your tiny little 19" as your living room source of home entertainment...when you'd rather watch television on your computer monitor....something just ain't right! So the television wasn't exactly a gift, I had to throw some cash at it....BUT IT WAS a gift to me, from me....therefore...MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!!!!! I swear...I get myself the nicest presents sometimes! ;)

I went and saw "PS I Love You" at the theatre yesterday....ah, what a beautiful movie. I don't think anything has made me want to visit Ireland more. I confess: I cried. Yeah, I wiped tears on my jeans while trying to not let anyone see....so be prepared if you go see it..bring tissues and hide them in the sleeve of your shirt...you are SOOO going to need them.

I saw National Treasure #2 today...Jason and I went to see it (Jason my friend...NO..HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND)...it was good, very much like the first...so if you liked the first....you'll like the second as well.

So, I guess this is it for me....there's some other things going on...but I haven't gotten a good enough grasp of things yet to really let you guys in on that just yet...I will though...maybe tomorrow.

I'm loading Christmas photos to the photoblog for anyone who's interested....

G'night,

~hl~

All you need is love....I offer you Love Actually:

Christmas....nobody does it quite like Clark!

It's going to be the happ-happ-happiest Christmas....

Gone are the bitter posts of yesterday, gone are the aggravations, the heartaches. It's smooth sailing from here on out.

Today kicked off the beginning of my ten day vacation from work... I'm not going to step foot back in the office until January 2nd! Freaking-A... that's an awesome feeling. I haven't had this many consecutive days off since..... since.... gosh I can't even remember back that far... it's been so long.

My Christmas shopping is done, the gifts are wrapped and under the tree, my hair is freshly done and shiny, eyebrows waxed.... and damnit, there isn't a part of me that suddenly isn't feeling alive and full of excitement.... yeah, that's right...ALL OF ME is happy.

For the first time in a long time, I have so many things to look forward to. Tomorrow is the Blockberger X-mas party, Monday I have Christmas with my Mom and Bill....Tuesday, Brooke and I and maybe Laino will chill out early on, go to my Aunt & Uncles, then it's off to the movies with Steph & Nikki.... and that's just my x-mas plans.

Over the next week, I'm doing something with Michelle, having lunch with Denise, going to Dayton with Rachel for an overnight stay at Brooke's and another night at the movies.....then it's back home for New Years eve where I'll be going to see a Ft. Wayne Comet's game with Michelle, Jimmy, Jen, Rick, Amber, Kevin, Nikki and Mike. Maybe Tina & John...but they are a maybe at this point.....and that's just New years..... *smiles*

Now granted, it's still early...things could go awry and I could slip into the bottomless pit of despair that I was in last year, but I'm keeping positive and hoping that this year...I won't mourn the loss of my prior life, because I'm so much happier now than I was a year ago. Life is no longer scary and dark......and although, once again I find myself single over the holidays....I feel up to the task of smiling and letting everyone know that NO, I don't miss Keith...AND YES, I'm perfectly fine.....this year I'm totally going to mean it!

I hope you all have an amazing Christmas. I hope that this season finds you in good spirits, with enough money in your pocket to make you comfortable, enough loved ones around to feel loved...and enough laughter to fill your hearts with joy.

Merry Christmas....

~hl~

A Transportational Memorial: (going to get hate mail for sure on this one)

Okay, so I've been a little negative over the last few days due to some really dumb things I've been dealing with which I won't mention here just yet. Now when you get irritated, aggravated and downright annoyed...you tend to let yourself send your blind hatred onto things that may not have ever bothered you before....and then all of the sudden, your focus, your anger, your discontentment is transferred and it's all out fixation on that poor, poor inanimate object.

For me, that moment came on Monday. I was just off work, it was cloudy, cold...damp...shitty basically outside. I was sitting at the light at I-65 and SR 224. My radar detector was going off because of those darn automatic doors at Rite Aid that always set them off....so that was getting on my last nerve, I had to pee....I was cold....and then I looked up...and there it was, on the back of a mini van there was a picture of a little girl, she couldn't have been more than 2 or 3 years old. Cute as a button and it said "In loving memory of:__________" with the little girls name being where the blank is. The date of birth and date of death right there, on that dirty, salt covered, finger smudged window. There she sat, hands under her perfect little chin, a smirk on her face, and peering at me from the back of a mini van! A MINI VAN!!!

Now, I realize that the rest of this will be totally irrational, and will surely piss someone off...but seriously...if you died, would you want your mug plastered to the back of a fucking Honda mini van? Do you want random strangers like me staring at you...wondering how you died....and then thinking to myself, how sad it is that your family gets in and out of that car everyday and is quiet possibly saddened by your lack of existence in this world any longer.

The only vehicle I ever want to in any way shape or form memorialize me, is the hearse that carries my dead body to the cemetery. You want to remember me...carry me in your heart..NOT as a decal on your car. Who makes their loved one a bumper sticker anyway? I realize that people deal with grief in different ways, and that they never want their loved one to be forgotten....but I never knew her to begin with, seeing her picture depressed me and life is sad enough without having the faces of every dead person staring at me at every red light i come to.

Life is precious, life is sometimes short....but regardless....your life, your legacy that you leave behind you when you go....isn't your face printed on glossy adhesive paper which clings to a window for dear life. Your memory, your presence is so much more than any racing vehicle can represent. What kind of society do we live in, what kind of cultural disarray must we be in when this is how we respect the dead.

I am disgusted and quite honestly creeped out......I cannot find anything respectful, anything dignified in this behavior. Between the Dale Earnhardt halo stickers and THIS.....what is the world coming to?!

How does one rest in peace, when their death is become commercialized, customized, and advertised?

To anyone who has a memorial of a loved one plastered to the window of your vehicle, you have every right to do as you wish, you have THAT right....but I think you also have the right to know how others perceive your display of that right. Some things are sacred....and I sympathize for the loss you've suffered, for I too have lost those I've loved, I'm just saying, it doesn't have to be public to be meaningful, it doesn't have to be advertised to be remembered....love is everlasting, honda mini vans are not.

Roommates:

Living alone is something that at first is the weirdest thing in the world. Especially when you grow up in a house of six. The idea of living in solitary confinement can really play with your head.

There are days when you are lonely, days you wish there was someone there to greet you when you get off work. It’s more sentimental than anything else really.

I’ve been living alone now for one year and two months. I’m used to it. My home is “MY” home and everything in it is mine. I come and go as a please, walk around in my panties and bra when the mood strikes….I play music loudly in the morning while I shower. My bathroom is cluttered with blow dryers, curling irons, hair straighteners, hair spray, gel, mousse, fifty kinds of hand lotion…I’m a girl, what can I say?!

I went to the movies with my friend Jason last Sunday and we were talking about life and stuff…he was telling me about his current situation, working two full time jobs essentially, wanting to go back to school and/or have a social life, but things just feeling out of his reach. So I told him he should get a roommate. Someone to share in the burden of bills, someone to lighten his load. See he owns his home and from the sounds of things, it’s roomy enough to house another occupant.

Anyway, I told him that I, too had thought of getting a roommate at times, and how it would be nice to have a bigger place where I could get a dog, have a yard, maybe a place to have a cookout in the back yard….you know those kind of things. Not to mention, not having to haul my groceries and laundry up and down those god forsaken stairs would be priceless.

I wasn’t even thinking that by me telling him he should get a roommate and then telling him of things I didn’t like about my current living situation…would spark him to think that I was suggesting that WE move in together. Granted…IF I did, it would give me all those things that I mention. And I like Jason, we get along famously and seem to enjoy doing things together….cooking chocolate chili, going to movies, just hanging out talking….but COULD I GO BACK TO LIVING WITH SOMEONE?!?!?!?!

THAT’S the QUESTION. I’ve lived with men before, I know their quirky behaviors and habits. They are generally simple creatures when it comes to co-habitation.

There are A LOT of things that I need to consider…..Steph has been telling me for awhile now that she wishes that I didn’t live alone….because she worries about me, so I know she’ll say I should consider it….what do the rest of you think? Consider it?

~hl~

Bandaging Old Wounds:

I don't know what my deal is, but somebody better have a talk with me!

I feel terrible.

So you guys read the whole DJ said he loves me thing right?! As the end of the year approaches, I have like 44 hours of vacation time I must either use, or lose before January 1st. So I thought about where I could go...what I could do with my 10 consecutive days off I'll be taking starting this Saturday through January 2nd. I thought of my dear sweet DJ in West Virginia. Yeah, I can go visit him before he moves to Tennessee in the next month or so. So I called him and made the arrangements, we were going to go spend a couple days in Tennessee, then a couple in West Virginia, and I'd be back for New Years Eve. Sounds great right?

Wrong.

Saturday night, I called him....he says I don't call him enough, so I made a point to call him. Anyway there we are, on the phone....I'm talking and he's like...."mmmmhmmm....yeah".....and not really saying much else...I wasn't even sure he was listening to me to be honest. I asked him why he was being so quiet, and he said he was in the middle of something in his video game...and trying to figure it out. He said to just continue on with what I was saying and that he was sorry. So okay, i go on like instructed..and again, he's obviously distracted. After a while more of this, I finally just said to him "You know what?..I'll let you go play your game, I'll finish watching my movie." he said "are you sure, you aren't upset with me are you?" Now of course i was upset, but I couldn't tell him that, because then he'd try and explain and say he was sorry, but honestly, the last thing you want is to hear is the explanation as to why a video game is more intriguing than anything you might have to say.....

I just needed to get off the phone, and i needed it to be quickly. I said to him..."No, really, it's fine...I'll talk to you later!" I said goodbye and I hung up. Now in DJ's world, things are A-ok. Sure, why wouldn't they be....I DID say that i wasn't upset right?!?! That's what girls do, we say we aren't pissed.....when really, we are sitting there going.."WHAT??!!!??"

It made me feel like I was insignificant....invisible. When someone says they love you...and you should call more...I love talking to you....and then they don't pay any attention to you when you do.....the first thing that happens is you get spooked.

I'm notorious for getting spooked these days. A guy says one wrong thing to me and I'm like...."Hey, yeah, it was great meeting you..." and poof, I'm gone. I know it's just because I'm afraid of getting hurt, but who isn't right?!

All I could think in that moment was of the time, when Keith and I were going to Columbus for the weekend....a whole weekend, just the two of us, staying in a hotel....it was supposed to be our "Save the Marriage Weekend" as I called it. Cause things were bad at that point and I thought it'd be a good idea to try and rekindle some sort of connection to one another. It's a two hour drive from here to there, and he talked to his dad about hunting on the phone for about 90% of the drive there. The whole time, just blah, blah, blah to his dad, and there I was driving in the snow, being a little chauffeur, couldn't listen to the radio, couldn't talk to him....and I felt invisible to the person who was supposed to love me the most in the entire world. I don't want to be invisible anymore. I don't want to be the center of attention either...

Is it too much to ask for the person who's with you...to be WITH you?

So anyway....I got spooked, cancelled my trip with DJ...and am left feeling shitty for being upset about what happened. I feel terrible....it's not his fault I'm like this. He didn't do this TO me....yet he's the one I'm not seeing because of it.

For me to ever settle down with someone again....I think it's going to take something extraordinary.

That's the thing about extraordinary....it's remarkably uncommon.

Weekend with the Family:

There's something about the holidays that makes everyone nuts, which is exactly why I was surprised when after four days together, my sisters and my mom and I made it without getting into a spat with each other. See we for one reason or another are like an atomic bomb when you put us all together. The dynamic is just out of wack or something I've always thought...but this year, we did it, we managed to all be together, shop, eat, watch movies, watch the kids, open gifts and everything, and do it with amazing grace.

The last few days have been hectic, I've been going, going, going non-stop it seems....but tonight, as I sit here writing to you, I'm enjoying a quiet night of rest at home alone. I will dine with Angie & the kids tomorrow for the last time before they head back home to Wisconsin....and I'm sad at the thought of their departure, but so happy for the quality time I've gotten with them this last week.

I posted pictures from our early Christmas we had yesterday on the photoblog for anyone who's interested.

~hl~

It all started at Walt Disney World.....

I was a sophomore in High School. Our High School Marching Band had been invited to march / play in the Citrus Bowl Parade in Orlando, as well as participate in the activities at Disney marking the event. It, at the time, was a really big honor for our band to be invited, for our school is small, and frankly, Delphos is just a tiny dot on a map, hardly worthy of notice, but our band, our band was another story. We were fantastic. I'm not tooting my own horn either, we really did light up a football field. Our Band instructor accepted nothing less than our very best, and he was magnificent at getting that out of us....he was a gifted man he was! :)

Now before you go making fun of me for being in band....I'll have you know that 90% of the girls in my school were in band. At Jefferson, it WAS not only acceptable to be in band, it was an honor. Now, seeing as I wasn't that musically inclined and had never learned an instrument early on, I was in flags. Yes...yeah, i was a flagget! Laugh all you want, it was fun and I loved it.

So anyway, there I was, a wide eyed country girl, in the Florida warmth, a cultural place, filled with people speaking languages I'd never heard and there was so much to take in, smell, taste, feel....it was amazing. Just to be wearing a T-shirt in January was foreign to me.

I ran around with Jenny a lot back then...mostly because she was without limits, that girl would do anything anywhere at anytime....frankly I envied that kind of reckless freedom. I was more cautious, more leery...while she flew through life with this kind of energy that would never let her fall.....because she was flying too high. Well, this is the way it appeared anyway. I know Jenny better to know otherwise, but anyway, the point is, she was a blast to hang out with. Always an adventure. Plus she was a shameless flirt, if Jenny was somewhere, it wasn't long before the boys would follow! *laughs* And they did too. We met so many guys while we where there, but there was one group of them that I never did forget about.

They were West Virginia Boys. They were in their College Marching Band at WVU. Drumline boys. Which for anyone in band, the percussion guys were always the cool ones! I mean, it's the flute playing guys that were usually the ones not getting a lot of dates.

His name was DJ and I think his friend's name was John. We met them while grabbing a bite to eat at Disney. They were tall....and really cute. We ended up spending the entire rest of the day with them. Time flew and before we knew it, it was time for us to part ways. They were running late getting to the gates to load their buses, so we sprinted across the grounds at Disney all the way until we ended at the front gates. Jenny of course threw caution to the wind and started making out with John....DJ and I looked at each other, looked at Jenny and John....and well, he sweetly hugged me instead. Which frankly, a kiss would have been more romantic, but I was glad to have got the hug. After all, this was a weekend romance....surely I'd never see my tall dark handsome drummer from West Virginia again.....although, we did exchange phone #'s and addresses.

We ended up writing and phoning each other for a couple years after our initial meeting...until one day, DJ disappeared. Phone was disconnected, and letters came back undeliverable. He was gone. Never to be heard from again.

Until last year. Keith and I had just split up....I was searching for old classmates on myspace to invite them to our 10 yr. High School reunion. I had my old phone book from when i was a teenager trying to locate some of them that we couldn't find...when I came across DJ's info. I thought to myself....what's the chances that he's on myspace? I typed him in, and within a minute or so, there he was....or at least it looked like him. It'd been so many years since I saw him that I wasn't even sure if it was HIM. So I took a chance and sent him a message...asking him if he'd been in Florida or Disney in the mid 90's. He wrote back and said yes, twice....

That's where it started. Rediscovering my high school crush. We once again, became fast friends. Talking for hours upon hours on the telephone. He was just as i remembered him, funny, warm, sweet.....just the perfect southern gentleman.

After time had passed, he invited me down to visit him in WV. I didn't even hesitate. I was happy to go....so i plotted my course, I packed my bags and off to West Virginia I went. I didn't tell anyone except Steph I was going....and maybe Brooke...mostly because to many this would seem like a crazy thing to do, but I didn't care..I'm old enough to make decisions for myself and I WANTED to see my friend again.

I ended up going down there twice and had a fantastic time both times I was there. DJ and I are like an old married couple when we are together. It wasn't awkward at all, it was like we hadn't spent a day apart over the last twelve years. Which, is strange to have that kind of unexplainable closeness with someone who technically is a stranger.

Eventually the talk started....you know....the whole..."you should move here"...which, while I love West Virginia....and think it's beautiful...my life is here. My friends are here, my family...well some of my family is here. Not to mention my job.....my life is in Ohio. I told DJ that I didn't want to move there....he told me he didn't want to move here....and then for the first time, there was silence....awkwardness.....and it wasn't long before he was dating a girl named Bobbie and our brief rekindling romance was kaput.

We stayed friends...sort of. I was hurt that he could just act as it it didn't mean anything to find each other again, that as if the time we spent getting to know one another didn't matter....but I accepted defeat, and moved on, as we as women often times do. You can't let things that don't work out drag you down forever. In time, I forgot and forgave and we chatted a little more frequently through myspace than we had in the time shortly after our goodbye.....and by the spring, we were pretty buddy/buddy again. Just friends of course since he was dating someone and I too was starting to get back out there.

So a couple weeks ago, I was having a really shitty week. DJ, being the friend that he is, also a friend who was no longer dating the girl he was seeing, he invited me to come down for the weekend. Just hang out, go do some low-key fun things....whatever I wanted. It was a nice offer, i desperately needed to get away from all the shittiness of my life here...so after some handy convincing on his part...again, i was on my way to his house. Again, I had a terrific time. We hung out, visited with his family....we helped his brother move....we went to dinner/breakfast....we babysat for his nephew....just did those things that people in relationships do. Which is foreign to me since it's been so long since I'd had that feeling of togetherness...closeness to someone of the opposite sex...in a non-sexual manner.

This time we both knew...it was just a weekend. We were just two friends hanging out....no strings, no complications.

Yesterday, he told me he loved me. Told me he was moving to Tennessee and that he wanted me to go with him. I almost fell out of my chair upon hearing this.....I didn't even know that he felt that way about me....sure we love each other as friends....and there will always be a special place in my heart for him...BUT i really didn't see THIS coming. I think I'm STILL in shock, even as I write this....

But the thing is....I am not Jenny....I can't go through life jumping feet first into things, especially matters of the heart...and just hoping for the best. Oh, how I wish I could. That's what I did with Keith....I threw caution to the wind and hoped for the best....and well, we all saw how THAT worked out...I can't be reckless with my heart anymore. While I believe DJ and I have an amazing closeness and connection to one another, I don't think I could give up my life, my friends, my family, my job....all on..."what if"...What if it works....but what if it doesn't?

I guess only time will tell where I'll end up, what I will become....for now, I'm staying here, in good ole' Ohio. I'm going to live the life that feels comfortable to me, i will do what I want, and maybe become who I will eventually be...and do it all on my own.

I can't believe he loves me....*scratches my head in disbelief*

The End of an Era:

I am bummed. My lip is protruding in the most significant pout I've had in ages.

It's broken, what once was the most glorious gift, is now in pieces on the floor. My spirits are along side the shattered glass.

The first gift Keith ever gave me, on our first Christmas together as a couple, he got me a Harley Davidson Santa musical snow globe. I know, it sounds stupid, what grown woman would want a Harley Davidson Santa musical snow globe right? I did. I loved it. I broke it. It's broken. It is no more.

It's funny how little by little, the things of the past disappear. First it was his love I lost, then his presence, the memory of his face, the sound of his voice.....little by little it all fades away....but you always have those things that are a solid, a piece of evidence that love once existed. Except, they aren't as constant or solid as we might think.

Then one night, as you watch television, the whole thing plays out in slow motion, you see it begin to fall, the lights from the Christmas tree shimmer in its glassy reflective exterior all the way from where it once sat, to where it ultimately will land, you want to run to it, yet you know it's too late, gravity will win, nature IS going to rob you of even this.

You hear it land, *THUD*, glass breaks, water bursts into the room and goes in every direction, alone it lays in a puddle of white speckled water droplets, it lays motionless, smaller than it once appeared and gone is it's wonder, it's magical snow-filled picturesque scene.

He's getting closer to getting remarried, and I'm at a loss over a seemingly insignificant snow globe. Oh what opposite ends of the spectrum of life we find ourselves sometimes.

MISSING COCK:

Has anyone reported a missing cock? What about you, have you lost yours? Does it stand at about 12 inches tall fully erect? Does it wake you up in the mornings? Do you know where your cock is right now? Because if NOT, he might be where you least expected.

Meet the Annandale Rooster. He magically appeared at my office building about a week and a half ago. He's mean, he crows a million times a morning just outside of my window and he's looking for a nice redheaded chick...or at least, that's the rumor.

I'm not sure what's going to happen to our fair feathered friend, as it's due to get quite cold in the region, but for now, he appears to be here to stay.

He's waving at you....say Hello Mr. Rooster!!

First Snowy Day in Ohio:

The snow began falling last night, right as I went out for my evening jog. The night was perfect, cold but not TOO cold, snowy but not TOO snowy. My breath flew out of my nose and mouth making a cloud encompassing my head as I ran and ran forcing my legs to pound the pavement beneath me. There's something very methodical about the process of running, your heart pounding, your feet beating the ground, your breath going in and out....it makes you feel as though your body is a machine. Mine being not such a fine-oiled one....I really need to quit smoking! *smiles*

So I decided to get in shape...AGAIN. I have sporadically been going to the gym for years now, but it's time to get serious...again! *laughs*....I want to put my energy towards something worth while, figure, getting healthy is as good a cause as anything else. And I'm NOT making it my damned New Years Resolution, this shit is starting now...as in yesterday. I may be single, but damnit, I'm going to look good doing it! *winks*

Today, the roads were atrocious, I slid and swerved my way to the office about 15 minutes late, but still, I made it. You tend to forget how poorly neons do in the snow until that first snow of the season, when you are immediately reminded that you gave up snow reliability for gas mileage. But hey, I drive cheap.....just don't drive near me in the snow....I'm just saying....

Today while driving to work, the snow was falling still, everything was covered by that blanket of white fluffy precipitation...and I was singing along to Bob Marley's "No woman no cry"....and the day just seemed to be filled with a positive feeling....listening to Bob Marley in the snow is almost the equivalent of singing Christmas songs while lying on the beach....it seems odd, but it feels sooooo good.

A Blonde Moment.....YES even I have them!!

So, last week I was driving to Wisconsin with my sister Brooke. She was slumped over in the front passenger seat, trying to sleep as I drove through the last shift of driving from Madison, up to Montello.

All of the sudden, my sister wakes up, looks at me very confused, and says "WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE SKITTLES IN HERE?"

I too then look confused and say, "I don't know....I smell it too!!" So we both put our noses to the air like bloodhounds on the trail of a escape convict. We inhale the scent, we digest the fragrance.....We begin looking around on the floor for something that spilled, I smell my expired air freshener....nope, nothing....can't figure it out. A few moments pass by.....a few more....

Then after we are about to throw our arms in the air in defeat....a light goes off in my head....not only did I suddenly realize what the smell was....but I instantly realized why I smelled it so strongly....IT WAS RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE! It was my freshly applied chapstick.

I had just put on my tropical flavored chapstick and its fragrance had filled the car with fruity goodness. Here I was sniffing, and the whole time, the smell was just beneath my very own nose.

I'm such a dunce sometimes! Brooke and I got a good laugh out of it though. At 3:00 am somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin nowhere...ya need a good laugh. I'm wearing it now...my lips are soft and pink and fruit flavored....and my sister's voice saying: "WHY'S IT SMELL LIKE SKITTLES IN HERE", keeps echoing through my head...and makes me nearly laugh out loud as I sit here at my desk at work. Good stuff.

I Can't Believe how little I've.....

Written lately. This is so unlike me. I think I've been distracted by life. Funny how that happens. *smiles*

I've been on the road a lot with going to West Virginia, then to Wisconsin....I've been busy being social, shopping and catching up on all the things I seem to constantly put off, yet I really feel no further ahead than when I started. *sighs*

This weekend has been so quiet....and for the last few days I've been a rotten mood....so I hadn't made any big weekend plans just out of pure negativity. Last night, I decided that I would take out and leave my frustrations about life in general at the Y, where I intended on getting a good workout and some endorphins flowing. However, after I made my way to Lima, through the square, past the beautiful horse drawn carriage lit up with Christmas lights, I arrived at the Y, only to realize they were having some big Holiday Family Fun night....which presents a problem for me, considering...I have no family. I was alone. So my workout consisted of driving through the parking lot and frowning as I made my way back down the street, leaving the YMCA in my rear view mirror. What's that saying about it taking more muscles to frown than to smile....so I guess my face got a workout anyway.....

I didn't want to go home though, well, because I spent over $3.00 / gallon driving over, might as well make SOMETHING of my trip....so I stopped off at Bob Evans for some coffee. Coffee always makes a sucky day a little less sucky. Not to mention they have THE best darn banana nut bread. Again, the host makes me confirm I'm single and alone on a Friday night when he says, "Just one tonight"...I wanted to say, "just one every night!"....but instead, I smiled at him and said, I'd gladly sit at the bar. And YES, I do realize that that host meant nothing by his question....and I AM totally being overly sensitive....Yeah, Yeah....got it.....it's not his fault...I know. I was just in a negative state of mind....Friday...the glass was a half empty kind of day.

Like a senior citizen, I sat alone, sipping my delicious coffee, snacking on the bread, watching the hustle and bustle of the kitchen staff...all frazzled, being used and abused by cranky Christmas Shopper patrons.....working in the service industry blows most days....but it especially blows at Christmas. But they were all great to me, each one passing me by offering to get me more coffee, or insisting that I should really eat something other than mere bread....who knew that while they were totally slammed they could still be so attentive to lil ole me, just sitting quietly there at the counter. It was nice.....to be where things where happening....where people were busy, alive....some were cranky....some were tired, others hungry.....there are so many emotions on display at your average dining establishment. It was definitely not a wasted trip, the Manager offered me a job and told me I'd make a nice addition to their dysfunctional little family...um, not sure if that was a compliment, but it's always nice to be wanted around, suppose I'll take it with a smile.

So yeah, I realize that this post has been me rambling on pretty much about nothing...but it's a start, I'm rusty.....

lets see...what else......I put my Christmas tree up. I LOVE my Christmas tree....it is a warm and welcoming presence in my otherwise dark and cold apartment upon my return home from work each day. A girl needs things like that.....Oh, and candles. Ever wonder how its possible that a candle can add such amazing warmth with such a tiny little flame? Kind of like that first spark of flirtation with someone new.....it adds a whole knew feeling to an otherwise stagnant existence....or in the candle's case...a chilly room.

Anyway....so this is my first, very lame attempt at getting back to writing here.....please forgive me for the time I've been away...AND for the time I've just stolen from you....I'll put my best foot forward from here on out....

Good Night & Sweet Dreams...

~hl~

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's another Thanksgiving .... this time 2007's version and like all of those that came before, there was turkey, there was stuffing, family and friends....warmth and laughter, full bellies and children playing. Another typical Thanksgiving in Northwest Ohio.

I haven't written lately, not out of lack of time or the want to, but just because there were some things that had me distracted and unable to focus on that which I wanted to convey....

But I have an hour between my first Thanksgiving get-together and the next, so I thought I'd jot some thoughts down while I had a moment alone.

Last year, the holidays were the toughest in my recent memory. I was trying to smile though the pain and try and enjoy those around me, however, with just having left Keith, my first holiday season alone.....again...it was tough to say the least.

I started feeling that darkness creep in again, until I decided that I had some unresolved issues that were causing the flare up. First I confronted the issue in writing....my questions went unanswered. After a week of no response, I dialed the phone...dialed direct. After 35 minutes of awkward questions and answers, pauses, silences and throat clearing....I finally got the closure I needed....the freedom from a situation that has plagued me for a nearly a year now. I feel fantastic. When I told Rachel of the conversation and the things that were said, she said "Heather...gosh, that's the last thing you needed to hear the night before Thanksgiving!...I'm so sorry!"...but I said to her "I can't think of a better time to have heard what I did, for I'll be surrounded by people I love tomorrow, good food, and atmosphere...it'll be just what I need to put it all behind me." Funny thing is, I didn't even NEED it, I was fine all on my own. I enjoyed the first part of my day without a hitch.....

I have some of my Christmas shopping done, new ornaments to hang on my tree that will be going up on Monday...I met someone new, re-friended someone old....and I already have plans for my 30th birthday.

I have so much to be thankful for this year, so, so much.

Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone....

Hugs & Love,

~hl~

It's been awhile: 6 Days

Forgive me father for I have sinned, it's been six days since my last confession:

Well, I've been away....sorry guys! Let me catch you up to speed. So last week I mentioned being a bit down. Then to add to that sentiment, I realized that I had to end a relationship with someone. Well, I guess I didn't HAVE to, but I needed to if I was going to keep my sanity. So, after a great amount of consideration and contemplation, I did. I said goodbye to someone whom I adore. Someone who I know I will miss, but at the end of the day, the lows and distance took it's toll on me.

So okay, by Friday....I was a bit out of sorts. That was when my friend sent me a e-mail and told me to pack my bags and come visit him down in West Virginia for the weekend. At first I thought he was kidding, because it had been sooooo long since we'd seen each other, but after some thought and a quick chat with my mom, I was headed home to pack my bags and head south for a few days.

Upon my arrival, I was surprised at the ease I experienced at feeling right at home. I've been down there twice prior to this third visit, but being with him, is kind of like getting an old pair of shoes together, they just go, ya know?!

It was so nice to escape my life, to go somewhere where there's someone waiting for you to arrive and sad when you leave, somewhere where you only feel loved and embraced with care and concern. Plus I was in another state, with so much to explore and learn about.

My friend took me to see the Weston State Hospital, which is supposedly haunted and I have to tell you, it's one of the most interestingly eerie buildings I've ever seen in real life. You literally feel something while standing in front of it. I stood at the gates in the sunshine and still shivered. I mean it was like 30 degrees out, but still, I shivered.

I got the grand tour of Weston, West Virginia and a little town called Jane Lew where I watched as my friend's grandmother was recognized for her years of service and awarded the "key to the city", which was pretty cool. There was a "garden club" unveiling of a building, taps were played, veterans were honored, shots fired. The whole town came out which amounted to about....30 people. Made me laugh, there's more than 30 people who live in just the blocks surrounding my apartment. *smiles*

I drove down there this weekend, I felt a bit down, I came back, renewed, optimistic and for the first time in a long time....I'm perfectly ok. Not on a high, not on a low,...I'm even keel.

The pictures from my trip are on the photoblog if you guys want to see them.

~hl~

New Pictures Posted

If you don't feel like reading, would rather just do some viewing...

I posted some new pics to my photoblog...if ya care..


http://heatherlynnsphotoblog.blogspot.com

~hl~

Anybody wanting some Christmas Ideas for me this year?

I've got the answer for ya:




Kidding...sorry...I was in need for a pick-me-up...this SNL clip gets me everytime!

It's wrong, but it's funny.

~hl~

Do you think it's a coincidence ....

.....That while working at the pumpkin farm, I met and had a slight flirtation with a really cute Mexican guy....

...and.....now for the last few weeks...the only food I crave is Mexican?

Think that's coincidental?

Maybe I should have had a taste.....hmmmmmmmmm.....Brooke told me I should have....lol

If I'd have met a nice handsome italian boy...would I be craving a taste for some meat'a'balls instead? *laughs*

Maybe it's me...maybe it's the weather.....

It's cold outside. I came home to an apartment that was 57 degrees. Oh, yeah, I don't know how to turn the furnace on at my apartment and forgot to ask my landlord to do it when he was here last week....so......i'm wearing two coats and a hat and gloves as I write this tonight. But don't feel sorry for me....it's just how things are ya know.

You know it's cold when you have to break out the knee socks! :)

I don't know if it's the weather, the fact that the sky spit snow at me today, or what, but I just feel glum. The summer warmth is gone, the fall leaves have began to blow away, and all that's left is.....is.......this. This feeling. And it's not just me. Alex, Chris, Steph....and countless others perhaps too, they all have been feeling it.


When you start feeling down, the first thing we do as humans..is start to focus on all that is missing in our lives, we begin to pick at the scabs of our old wounds and battlescars that had just begun to heal....well, I do this...maybe you guys are a lot healthier than I am.

For instance, the other day at the Laundromat, I was sitting on the folding table, watching my clothes go round and round in the dryer when this young couple walked in. He (one of the hickey sporters) opened the door for is young girlfriend/wife/fiance..whoever she might be. Anyway, they loaded and unloaded their laundry together, chatted and whatnot and I just had this feeling like with full on certainty that, THAT would never be me. My days of "wife", "girlfriend", "fiance"...those days were over. Why did I think that..I don't know. I just did. Sometimes when I think that....I get this feeling of calm, as if myself is saying..."Heather, it is what it is...accept it, move on.....you don't need to be IN LOVE, to be happy"....maybe.

When you get that first onset of wintertime blues, as many, many Americans experience, it's easy to become self critical, negative minded....some even find that sleeping a lot seems to begin....I myself went to bed last night at 10:00 p.m....Which for those of you who know me, that literally never happens unless I'm sick or something.

It's times like these that I find surprising comfort in my work. Generally...I'm pretty so/so about my job...like I loooove the people I work with...but I don't find much joy in the actual "doing" of my job. I'm just not that work oriented. Sure I do what I'm told, I get my stuff done, but I don't do it with gusto, I don't do it and start sniffing around my boss's office begging and hoping he'll pile more on....what can I say...I'm more about the finer things, and work however a constant in my life, has never been something I consider as all that fantastic. I mean, they don't call it "work" for nothing.

And maybe it's that I'm turning 30 soon. Turning 30 is kind of a big deal when you are single. That's when people start getting worried about you...like..."Uh, Heather....yeah, it was all fine and dandy to get divorced in your late twenties...but now you are pushing thirty...it's been a year..get over it....start dating...find a man...SETTLE DOWN...START A FAMILY!" *Sighs*....that's a lot of pressure when you think about it.

I hate it that I don't know what I want....I only know what I don't. When you know what you don't, you only have 1/2 the tools to make it in life...to go somewhere. Me, I just coast. I just slowly weave in and out of this and that, make no commitments, don't get too attached to people, pets, apartments...anything for that matter....for you never know when it too will disappear. Spoken like a true victim of abandonment issues....I really need to get out of this mindset.

The thermostat on my little portable heater says it's now 62 degrees....temps are rising....with it, I hope my mood will as well.

Did I ever tell you guys that when I get really down, when I feel myself slipping into a funk like this...I often listen to Christmas music? *laughs and looks embarrassed*.....maybe a little chocolate and O'Holy night is in order.....

Sweet Dreams....
~hl~

Breaking News:

It would appear that Hickey's are back in fashion.

After a recent trip to the laundromat, I've witnessed first hand this startling trend....

I thought the 80's did away with the hickey as we know it, but as with legwarmers, jean jackets and gloves with the fingers cut off, hickeys too are becoming fashionable again.

Of course, generally when I witness a trend of which laundromat goers are sporting, I tend to steer clear of it, but to each their own. I mean, dirty underwear are also a trend....but I don't suggest wearing your underwear a couple extra days either! *smiles*

Hickeys....are the new black....or purple...or even a gross looking yellow if given enough time! :)

Another Random Weekend:

It's Sunday here in Ohio....and I'm pretty sure, everywhere else too....

Okay that was a weird intro...lets go with it...might give you an idea about what the rest of this post will be like....

This is my FIRST weekend off since September, and...Ohhhh maaaaan....did I need it!

Friday night....hold on to your hats....I cleaned! Yep...don't think I've partaken in that activity since...um....summer? But my landlord stopped by when I got off work on Friday. I was getting out of my car when I saw him sitting in his truck in the alley next to where I live....this being on November 2nd....which made me thing..."Hmmmm...I wonder if I paid him rent yet?" as it's due on the 1st! Oooppps! So being the NON-RENT-DODGER I am, I confidently strolled over to him and said..."Do I owe you rent?" He said, "Um, I don't know....do you?" Anyway..as it turns out, after careful investigation into my check book...yeah, I totally owed him rent. So when he came over on Saturday to measure my windows....I paid him. The point to this whole story being.....I'M GETTING NEW WINDOWS IN MY APARTMENT!!!!!!! NO MORE GOING TO BED IN THE WINTER WITH SOCK HATS ON TO STAY WARM!!!!!! Feel free to dance in the street if you must....I did!

So okay, Friday I cleaned, rearranged my closet and went to bed early...as I was exhausted from all the cleaning.

Saturday morning.....I was all excited, I was going to get up early to go shoot some fall photography around the area. Something I do every fall. The sunrise had been so unbelievable all week on my way to work, I intended to travel my work route, taking shots of everything that I normally see that I always wish I had my camera to capture,...but sadly never do. So i get out of bed, get dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, grab my camera and out the door I go. Once out of town I notice that not only is it not as cold which means no frost..but it's cloudy...which means no sunrise. I was pissed! My first day that I could sleep in, and it's fucking cloudy?? Anyway....So the sun popped out for just about ten minutes before meeting the cloud wall, so my photo op's were seriously limited. I was bummed. I came home, in hopes of redeeming the day, I decided to make myself breakfast! Pancakes and sausage. I love pancakes and I thought it'd be the sure fire way to start my day off right....well, to try to anyway. Yeah, that didn't happen, apparently the Caro syrup based maple syrup and the greasy sausage gave me a stomach ace and literally made me slightly ill until about 4 pm, when I finally got it out of my system and when out to dinner & shopping with Steph.

Steph who was recovering from the flu, and me recovering from a self induced stomach ache...yeah, we were a heap of health! Nothing like a super pale blonde, and super flushed redhead out on the town in all their under-the-weather glory!

Anyway....the point of me telling you all of THAT, is so I can tell you THIS: So we are at Walmart right....I had to pick up my pictures from the one-hour-photo lab. All 175 of them that I have procrastinated getting printed for about a year. So I get my stuff, it's all been pre-paid, so I tell Steph, while she's checking out her like 100 lb. bag of dog food, that I'm going to run to the restroom and I'll meet her out front. We part ways.

I walk into the restroom, and before I even knew what hit me, I was gagging. Literally about to vomit. My eyes welled up, my body broke out into a sweat, I was going to puke! The smell of that restroom was so overwhelmingly terrible, you'd have thought I was a pregnant and OVERLY sensitive to smell or something. For the record, you have to have sex to be pregnant...so this isn't my problem obvioulsy....but.....it was BAAAAAAAAD! It was like every homeless, welfare recipient in Lima had come in, tried bathing in the sinks, and emptying their intestines in there. It was gross...Oh, and then spray like two gallons of that god awful cheap walmart air sanitizer into the air...and viola, you have a restroom that makes your average 29 year old white girl become physically ill. So I guess what I wanted to say was, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, USE THE RESTROOM AT THE CABLE ROAD WALMART! Do yourself a favor, go across town to the new super Walmart....it's GOT to be cleaner!

So, that's my boring, non-eventful weekend....off to the laundromat! See if I can't get some entertainment over there!

Have a great Sunday......

~hl~

If I had to choose....(Really Random I know)

which talk show host I most identify with...I'd sooooooooooo be Conan!

Don't you just love him? I mean, he's a redheaded BOY...and he still managed to be famous....do you have any idea it is for a guy with redhair to survive childhood...let alone make a name for themselves?

Kuddos Mr. O'Brien!

~hl~

ARK - Act of Random Kindness

I've been kind of bummed lately. Could be the changing seasons...the weather getting cold, could be the drama associated with some of the comments on my blog lately...I don't know. Sometimes even happy people get a bit down in the mouth.

Anyway...to combat this feeling of sinking...I always try to look for things that inspire a sense of peace, well being and beauty in the things around me....could be a sunrise filled with reds and yellows and pinks....could be that huge flock of birds that parted ever so gracefully as my car drove into their gathering this morning....could be anything really.

This morning...it was a cute farmer looking guy at the gas station. I stopped to grab some coffee and a muffin before heading off to work...I was dragging due to this cold I've contracted and the sleeping pill haze I was still under....so I shuffled to the back of the line and awaited my turn to pay. Then, the guy in front of me turned, looked at me, smiled at me and said, "sweetie, why don't you just go in front of me"....I looked at him surprised and said "Are you sure?" He said, "Yes, of course, my workday is done, your is just beginning...please, go right ahead!"

It was just such a nice thing for him to do...as if he KNEW that I'm freaking 3-5 minutes late for work everyday and this morning was going to be no exception. *smiles*

Anyway....it was nice. He was nice. And his little act of random kindness fueled me up for yet another day of all that is sure to come my way...and for those things I never see coming.

So thanks Mr. Farmer guy.....it's good to know that people like you exist in the world.

Beliefs: Yours, Mine and Dane's....I'll let him tell you....

Comments:

I tell you, the comments around this place certainly aren't for the faint of heart these days......

*scratches my head at all the seriousness*

First I'm a slut, now I'm an idiot for believing in a higher power....

Maybe it's time to clarify some things.

First this blog is personal...it's MY belief's, MY experiences and MY outlooks on daily life. I DO NOT ask that you change your personal views to be more like me, I DO NOT ask that you do ANYTHING at all. Read this stuff....DON'T...it makes me absolutely no difference. I appreciate those of you who come, and sometimes some of the best debates here have arose out of someone saying something shitty to me....so I suppose it's not ALL bad...but I'm not going to sit here and apologize to people because of who I am, I am not going to sugar coat, or conform to people who pop in here as nameless...and sometimes spineless characters. For those of you who know me...you take me as I am....those of you who are getting to know me.....there may be times when we disagree but It's okay if we disagree, it's okay that we don't share every single view...that's a good thing actually. Diversity, debate....these are all good things....so please don't think that I don't appreciate input...even when it isn't in perfect agreement with that of my own.

This blog started off as a way to keep in touch with friends who wanted a way to be a part of my daily life without having the means to always keep in touch in a way as we'd like.

So if you are anonymous...I'm NOT writing this for you....I'm not reaching out to you....I'm not trying to seduce you with my clever words and silly stories....you are accidental...and not necessarily of my concern. Now if you'd like to introduce yourself, become an active participant in the dialog that occurs here sometimes...by all means, love to have you aboard, but if you are hateful, if you are blindly angry in your life and views....maybe this blog IS NOT for you....move on.

With all that being said....I'd like to say that I've
met some great people here. I have. To my friends, you guys know who you are....I'm glad you stop by, I love the comments you leave and the time you dedicate to being a part of my life....to those of you who read and do not comment....well, I'm sure you have your reasons....This post is not meant to be one out of anger or spite, but just a reminder that:

"Sticks and stones, may break my
bones... but names will
never hurt me!"

Hope you all are having a good day.

~hl~

Obama, Idiot Drivers and shoes that make funny noises.....

The last few days I've found myself deep in thought....not about the loser who called me a slut, not about the losers who I date that call me a slut....but about life....

As you all know I've been traveling to Chicago every weekend this month to help out at the Pumpkin Farm thing....and well, for anyone who's traveled around Chicago, you guys know what the traffic can be like. You know that 55 mph is more of a suggestion than a rule.....I'm one of those people who realize that if you drive 55 on I-290, you are going to get killed....not just by racy people like me, but by a 90 year old female suburbanite who's got to get back to the nursing home before lock down.....what I'm saying is, everyone drives fast.

I don't know if I'm the only one who does this, but sometimes when I am about to embark on a trip I for one reason or another get this feeling that I'm about to die. Could be the crazy that runs in my family that gives me such thoughts, but anyway...I think about it. So when I awoke Sunday morning at the Red Roof Inn on South Barrington Road, just off of I-90 and listened to the Chicago news report about an accident that happened on the expressway......I don't know why, but it hit me.....profoundly...that You, me...any one of us could be next.

The story goes.....a Silver 2005 Volvo proceeded to go the wrong way on Interstate 290 (one of the roads I travel) traveling at a speed of over 100 miles per hour. It hit a 1998 BMW carrying four occupants, two men, two women who were all killed if not on impact, but when the vehicle burst into flames and burned them all beyond recognition. The driver Frederick Sy a twenty-nine year old from the area was taken to a hospital where he later died from his injuries.

Had Mr. Sy decided to take that last 100 mph joyride on Friday night instead of Saturday...it could have been me. Hell, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow just outside my door...ya never know....

So when I was on my way home last night...I drove with a little extra caution. I watched my speed a little more vigorously. I watched as a young girl maybe early twenties weaved in and out of traffic at speeds reaching 90-100 miles per hour while talking on her cell phone and slamming on her breaks when lanes of travel became congested around her and I thought....she's going to kill someone, and she doesn't even know it yet. All I knew was, I didn't want to be her. I didn't want to be someone who others could view as reckless, careless and uncaring for the safety and well being of others around me.

Tonight I watched the MTV/Myspace production of a open forum with Jr. Senator Barack Obama...interesting. Refreshing to see a little mixing it up of how things are presented. Sure it was geared towards young people, but who couldn't use a new look at the beating of America's dead horse.....the amazingly counter productive process of political standings. Now, with that said, I still hold out hope for our country and our elected leaders.....I just don't think that there's a future president who will ACTUALLY change the world born every day...but what if, what if one came along...someone who REALLY made a difference.....is it Hillary?...doubt it.....is it Obama...don't know.....maybe change isn't coming for a while yet....and maybe everything is about to....that's the cool thing about life....it's just pretty darn random sometimes.

Random like the lady at the Chinese restaurant I ate at today...her shoes sounded like suction cups being pulled off and then pushed back onto her feet...it make a "whoosh"...ing AND squeaking when she walked....when she noticed me determining that the noise was in fact coming from her lower extremities...she looked at me and said "They just never do this!"...I had low mein noodles dangling from my mouth so I just shrugged my shoulders....I mean c'mon lady....I'm eating Chinese at a dive place where nobody will dine with me...with noodles hanging out of my mouth....what the fuck do I know about anything?!

~hl~

Excuses, Excuses....and just plain faking it.....

As women, we are quite crafty at getting what we want, or out of what we don't. "I" am no exception.

You always hear of women saying "I've got a headache"... "I'm on my period".... "I have cramps" .... etc. to get out of having sex. But as a single girl, you don't really use those kind of excuses. Mostly because the above mentioned excuses are generally used by people in relationships.... lame excuses like that actually work. Mostly because married people and people in relationships pick/choose their fights... and are too tired to argue, they normally have much bigger things to argue about.

So when you are single and you begin to date someone.... MY reasons for not wanting to sleep with someone have nothing to do with NOT BEING IN THE MOOD....cause, lets face it.... I'm PROBABLY IN THE MOOD.... and my hesitations are more along the lines of.... "Do I really want to sleep with THIS guy?" or .... "I'm not ready yet" or ..... "This guy is totally not someone I'd date"... or "This guy's hot, but I'm totally not going to see him again after tonight!" LOL

Anyway...so you can see why excuses like "I've got a headache honey" won't work. So desperate times, call for desperate measures.

In the Oscar winning performance of my life..... I recently CRIED to get out of sex! Now just so you know, I tried every avenue available to me before I pulled the "crying card"... I told him...I'm just not ready, I want to not jump into anything..... I barely know you.....but when NONE of those worked, I had to pull out the big guns! This guy was immune to everything else.... or deaf... I'm not sure.

So, I faked it. I thought of the saddest thing I could think of, got the tears a'rollin.... and man did it work like a charm. NO GUY wants to have "hot sex" with some chick who's freaking in tears and has snot running out her nose. Okay, well maybe rapists do, but NORMAL dudes tend to calm right down when you start sobbing on them. *evil grin* Not only that, but he was all sweet and supportive and was like "awwwww...there, there"...he hugged me and was all nice and NOT aggressive. Freaking worked like a charm!!!!!

Now before you condemn me all to hell for my fraud in the bedroom..... you have to understand that I really didn't want to sleep with him, I made no pretenses that I would in the first place...I didn't lead him on and I managed to find a way to get out of a situation without hurting his feelings or having bodily injury done to me.... all in all...I think it was damn near brilliant. Granted he will always call me the girl who started crying when he tried to seduce me...but I don't much care.... I'll likely never run into him again anyway...and if I do, I'll say I was drunk and don't even remember it. God, the lying never stops does it??! *laughs*

So...with that said... I'm interested..... what have YOU GUYS done to get out of sex? Ever told someone you were gay to escape it? What clever and crafty ways have YOU, my friends used to get out of a hookup?

Steph says talking about your ex-boyfriend is a big turn off......

Once a guy called me by the wrong name DURING...that was a HUGE turn off.... stopped that sex dead in it's tracks...the worst part was that I was married to the guy at the time...TALK ABOUT A BIIIIIIG MISTAKE! NEVER CALL YOUR WIFE BY THE WRONG NAME....people have been killed for less!

So that's my story.... now give me yours! I want ALL the dirty details...... When I get home from Chicago Sunday night.... my hotmail inbox better have something in it... I'm counting on you guys so don't let me down!

Hugs, Luv & Lies,

~hl~

If Clayton Gets Elected Mayor...I may have to move!

Hello all. With a showing of hands, how many of you know that my cousin is running for Mayor of Delphos. He's my like third cousin or something...but blood related nonetheless.

So at this time, without doing any bashing, any political soapbox standing or rumor starting.....I'm going to say this:

VOTE FOR MICHAEL GALLMEIER !!!

I think it may be a bad sign when the billboards on the outskirts of the town you are running for mayor in....that display your gigantic political ambitious head..make people want to turn around and head right back out of town.

If he's elected, I think we may have to change the Town Motto....although, we should change it anyway...it might be a wee bit of false advertising to say that Delphos is "America's Friendliest City".

Who knows....maybe it's just me.......

Here's Looking at you Kid:

In my family...I might just be the most technologically advanced out of all of us. However, compared to my "Internet friends"...you guys know who you are...I'm as backwoods, ignorant as you can get.

So last night, when I went out and purchased a webcam and then had my buddies online try and help me troubleshoot it, it was like the most frustrating and ridiculous display of "what's your screen say", "look for the menu on the left" and "what do you mean you don't have any sound?"

To say the least, it was fucking work to get everything to work properly...but after I worked a couple bugs out, I was chatting away to Alex in Rome and watching her in "real time" for the first time ever. As many of you know, Alex and I have been "Internet friends" and "phone friends" for years now, but have yet to actually meet in real life. This is definitely the next best thing.

I remember being a little kid and dreaming of the invention of the "video-phone"...the idea of being able to talk to someone on the phone and see them at the same time was like THE coolest thing EVER!!! Of course I assumed there'd be flying cars and teletransportation too, but hey, I'm sure those flying cars aren't far off now. I mean, we are still dependant on foreign oil...so I'm sure flying cars are a hop-skip-and a jump away at this point. We are just so darn advanced! *rolls my eyes*

It occurs to me though that with new technology comes new dilemmas. I'm convinced that the invention of the webcam is really hurting ugly people everywhere. I mean, last night I had to get spiffed up to chat online....I mean, I wasn't even leaving my living room and yet I had to worry about my friends SEEING me looking like ass....it's odd to say the least. What's the world coming to when 300 lb women can't go online and pretend to be 120 lb drop dead gorgeous porn-star looking blondes, or when men can't go online and call themselves things like "well hung" or "Slade-nine-inches"? The camera don't lie m'friends!

Now for the record, my webcam is strictly intended for all things above-board....to video chat with my sister Angie in Wisconsin and see my niece and nephew when they do something adorable, to laugh it up with Alex in Rome, to make faces at Chris in Iowa...etc. But I can totally see where people can get themselves into a heap of trouble with one of these things.....oh, the naughty nature that can emerge when left with too much time on your hands, an empty apartment and the blinds drawn! LOL

Stop looking at me like that....I'm an angel, I'd NEVER do something like that! Geesh, what kind of girl do you think I am anyways?

Okay, so to conclude this post, Just want to suggest that if you were on the fence about getting a webcam, and IF you have people who you love, that you don't get to SEE very often...it's a handy little tool to have at your disposal. Just keep it on the up and up eh...and remember...wash your hands...sticky keyboards are just plain gross!!!!!!!!!! *winks at you and laughs to herself*

I think....

You can tell a lot about the current state of a person by what they purchase at the gas station.

Last night on my way home from Chicago, I bought chewable cherry Rolaids, Fig Newtons, Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash and a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lights.

So naturally you can see that I'm not exactly feeling myself these last few days.