Is there Anyone Out there?

Are any of my old followers still there?  Hello....Hello....Hello...*echos*

Well if you are, and you should find yourself reading this, I wanted to give you the link to the new blog, and make sure you've officially been invited to join me there.

http://heatherlynnosting.blogspot.com/

I miss you all....so please come back?!

~hl~

OMG....

Only 25 more days until the launch of DIAD on Amazon (DIAD is my first novel)....I'm getting that "I've got to pee" feeling in my midsection and I'm nervous that we won't make the deadline we've set for ourselves, or what if it's not well received, oh and that first harsh criticism that's sure to come...as they always do...

Did I mention I might pee my pants!?

I wanted to share a quote with you all....I thought it was fitting:

"There are people who put their dreams in a little box

and say, "Yes I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the

box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they're still there.

These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box.

It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.

That's where courage comes in..."

Erma Bombeck

In 25 days, my dreams will be on line the line...

*gulp*

Please let me be courageous!

~hl~

You know the old saying...."NEVER feed a stray cat, if you do they'll never leave"?  Well, there must be something wrong with me because I've tried to woo TWO strays now on TWO separate occasions and you think any of those finicky felines would hang around, NOPE! 

The snobby Tabby cat sashayed away with her tail in the air like her kitty litter don't stink, and the multicolored cat at MG's only wanted to make a fur coat out of my Adidas Zip-up jacket and then run off likely laughing to her friends about her hijinks!  I swear on of her meows had a giggle in the middle!

How am I ever going to be a crazy old cat lady if I can't even get one to stick around? 

Who knew stray cats could be so choosy?!

On my way to work today, I was listening to my Ipod in the car, and the song "Wake up little Suzi" came on and the lyrics were as follows: 

The movie wasnt so hot
It didnt have much of a plot
We fell asleep, our goose is cooked
Our reputation is shot

And I got to thinking, I have always been the kind of person who believed in "acceptance", I strongly believe in the idea that people should not be "Judgmental"....but after listening to this song, it made me wonder if judgmentalness was/used to be a good thing?

Here we have to teenagers who fell asleep at the movies and they actually CARE about their reputations....they actually WANT to maintain good reputations in their community.  Perhaps that's not a bad thing for today's youth to care about.

hmmmm.....something to ponder I guess.

~hl~

Womanhood - Ain't it a B*tch

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman....and when I say sometimes, I mean a lot of the time.

Let's take my current situation, I am crazy in love with MG, ya'll know it, he and I have been together for years now, and at present, every person he knows or meets starts out a conversation with him with...."soooo....when you going to marry Heather?"

Now, I appreciate the fact that so many inquiring minds want to know if he's going to marry me....however I feel remiss at the fact that MG doesn't find it amusing whatsoever.

Now being a rational woman 1/2 the time tells me this:  It's not that he is annoyed by the idea of marriage, he's annoyed by the fact that people are busting his balls about it and it's practically the top story on the six o'clock news...

WHEN WILL MG ASK FOR HEATHER'S HAND IN MARRIAGE?

WHAT IS THE HOLD UP?

while the stark raving mental patient who's premenstrual side of me who occupies the other 1/2 of me screams this in the hollows of my head:  "The idea of marrying you annoys him, if he really ever wanted to marry you....he'd not get annoyed at the askers!"

Then the stark raving lunatic me says, you should say that to him, you should say "I'm sorry the idea of marrying me annoys you, and its such an unpleasant notion!"

But the rational side of me say, "He loves you you stupid ass!  Don't be a lunatic, he's just annoyed at everyone  always asking him...like there isn't anything ELSE to talk to him about besides our relationship's future..." and then there's the comment my rational self says all the time "Take into consideration that not everything is about you!"

I hate that when MG's mad or seemingly moody, I automatically think to myself..."What did I do?"  And it's not because I'm that self absorbed that i think the whole world revolves around me, but the insecurity that I don't make him happy. :(

When I first fell for my better half, all I could think about was getting him to like me back.  And then he did.  Then after we were together, it was all about not being a psycho and scaring him away....by the usual things:  #1 going too fast too quickly.  #2-saying I love you too soon.  #3 - when to have them meet your family.  #4 - the exchange of house keys.  #5 - leaving your toothbrush and a pair of clean panties at his house.....the list goes on, but i won't bore you with things you already know...

So after all those milestones have occurred, you have what I have been feeling now..."What if he gets bored with our relationship?"  "What if he no longer finds my kisses hot and fiery?"  "What if the things about me he used to love now annoy him?"  It happens in relationships, we've all been there.....when the long term relationship plateaus.

It's always been my impression that when that happens, the "meant to be's" find comfort in the routine and solid foundation of their relationship, they find security in the fact that they know the other person, they truly know who they are with and why they are with them....while the "not meant to be's" start to lose that shiny happy feeling they have when the other person's around.  They start to get easily annoyed, the average day becomes mundane and then turns into restlessness and then eventually ends.......

Could this be paranoia, oh, absolutely, I'm openly admitting to my lunacy here......hence, why it's just damn hard to be a woman.  As the story goes, we were made FROM Adam, so why the hell couldn't we of gotten some male thinking patterns instead of hormonal, emotional women think patterns that I fear I'm not the only woman who ever suffers from.

The "M" word is scary, I admit it, I've done it, and I've failed at it.  It's a very scary notion, vowing til death do you part with someone, and I don't know what's scaring me more, the fact that I would marry him in a New York Minute despite my past failure if he asked me to, or the idea that I might not ever have the opportunity to say yes.

What I do know is, he is STILL the BEST thing that has ever happened to me, and while I'm not saying I don't want to be his wife someday, I'd still love him as much with a ring on my finger as I would without.  I'm in no rush, he's taught me patience since the day I found myself interested in him, and he's proven that good things come to those who are willing to wait for them and not force the issue.

I waited my whole life to meet someone like him, so waiting.....for him....will always be prove to be worth the wait.

xoxo

~hl~