Court Appointed Attorney

Something interesting I've learned recently is how the Court Appointment System works and how easily it is to say that you can't afford legal representation.

You know how people are always complaining about how the welfare system allows people the liberty to not work, or to have kids to get additional money each month in State allowances...well the same complaints can be made about court appointed representation. Now being as I work for lawyers who get paid by this same system, I can't complain, because my paycheck is provided for by providing these very services, however, do you have any idea how much money is paid out by the state for every neglected child? Every criminal? It's unreal the amount of money that we as citizens pay for those who get into trouble and then can't afford their own defenses. In just one child who was neglected and is appointed a Guardian Ad Litem (someone who looks out for the best intrest of the child) it can rack up over a thousand dollars? And that's just for the Guardian Ad Litem. Now lets give this same case a court appointed attorney for the mother of the neglected child, another one for the father of the neglected child, throw in a couple Children Services Caseworkers, the court's time, and all the support staff it takes to keep up with the massive caseload of these types of cases and look at the manpower, time and money exhuasted from our government.

I don't know why, but thinking of helping out unwed mothers who are on welfare, well it's not so bad because of the humanitarian implications of helping the poor and the repressed, but when it comes to the money expended on the multitude of DUI's, Domestic Violences, rape, assault, Stalking.....and every other crime I left out. Our tax dollars give counsel to criminals. I know that everyone deserves representation, and that we should defend those who cannot defend themselves, but how much of that should be at our expense? Shouldn't there be a way that the State can avoid being the victim of criminals?

I guess my thoughts come down to this, there are always people complaining about how welfare drains the economy, how the unemployment rate drains the economy, how we need reform, we need reform! Well, I think our entire system could use some reform. We spend tax dollars on the "No Child Left Behind Act" which was inteneded to improve our educational system, but the state imposed testing, testing, testing has actually taken away from standard teaching methods because now most the school year is preparing for a test that will make or break these kids. These tests should be making sure kids aren't graduating high school without being able to read, not keeping A & B students from graduating because they miss their Math Proficiency by two points. There are about a million things we could be doing differently to make the world a better place.....I guess it's dicouraging to see how someone's attempt to make the world a better place, just feeds the Beaurocracy of our Country.

I think the next four years will be interesting to see what changes are implemented. With a new President and administration in the White House, what new battles will be fought, what changes can we hope will be made. I wish one good person could make a real difference in politics, however it takes a small army to get anything accomplished on a real level. How exciting our future will be if people could just come together for the common good of all, forget republican and democrat, liberal and conservative.....just good people doing good things for the betterment of everyone. What do they call that....a Utopian Society?

If I could...........I would

If I could be an animal, any kind at all, I'd be a duck. A little Ruddy Duck to be specific.

I'd fly far, far from here, spend my days flying and swimming, going south for the Winter, seeing the world one body of water at a time.

Long Hair......?

Okay, so here are some long haired ones.....I'm taking a vote....Long or Short? Dark or Light? I'll let you guys decide my next hair-do attempt!

Me and My Mom

Me and My Cousin Aaron

Here my hair is really light redish blonde...or Orange as I like to call it....

{Never mind the fact that I have a penis on my nose.....just focus on the hair....!!}

 

Short Hair?

I'm thinking of getting my hair cut short again.....Like it Short?

 

Blog Stemmed Controversy...Am I TOO Open?

When I began writing this blog, it started out as something I thought I would write, just to get some things off my chest. I thought it would be healthy to just say some of the things that I perhaps always didn’t have a means to express, either for lack of audience, or clarity, or whatever else was holding me back. Then, in time little by little, I opened it up to those I most trusted and then to a few more, and then to all who know about it today.

Maybe I’m TOO open for everyone who might read what I write, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want people to only half know me. I don’t want people to only know the good parts, the funny parts, the happy and convenient parts…I want them to know that I have insecurities, I have fears, phobias, mental cracks, and all the good things too….which make for a nice mixture of traits and qualities within me. By letting this all be known, in effect, it sets me free.

However recently, it’s been brought to my attention that my honesty has brought upon controversy within my family tree. See my mom’s side of the family, well, they are really good people. They go to church every Sunday, they don’t cuss, drink, smoke, have pre-marital sex, they are just your modern day role models…..and well, it’s taken me 28 years to allow them to see who I REALLY am, the me that doesn’t fit well within their pious lifestyles. I hated that I always had to pretend to be something better than my true self around them, being hesitant to ever know me for fear of judgement, or being looked down upon. I was ultimately hiding from letting them really see me, to know me.

I don’t know if I told you this before but one personality trait I hate in people is fakeness. Now, I don’t mean all fakeness, but fakeness that hides your true self. I think it’s just awful that there are people who live their whole life without anyone ever knowing what lies beneath their exteriors. So many people live the life they think they are supposed to live instead of the life that best fits with their souls, their basic inherent will to live and do what is in their being to experience. There is so much more to life I think than just always doing what everyone else does, or what is expected of you. Individuality stems from taking a walk off the beaten path. I don’t want to be one of those people that you meet at a dinner party who the next day, not a single person would remember being there because nothing about you is worth a faint memory. You dress like everyone else, you put your little half smile on because it’s pleasing, you wear clothes that help you blend in, and your conversations never venture past everyday pleasantries and talking about the weather.

In the movie “City Slickers” Billy Crystal’s character said the secret to life is “One thing”…and that one thing is different for each of us, and it’s something only we can learn in time…..and in tune with our own life’s path. My secret to life is……..apparently causing controversy! Nah, just kidding.....My secret just keeps unraveling....perhaps I'll have it by the time my time here on earth expires.....I'll blog it then....if blogs are still around that is!

So about the controversy of penis talk on the internet…….I don’t now if it’s because I’m a middle child and starved for attention, if it’s my Osting blood, or my farm-girl upbringing that has made me bold and unapologetic, even a little uncouth in my thoughts and behavior patterns, but I don’t regret any controversy that sparks debate among people who don’t see things as I do.

I didn’t know a little thing about talking about men’s penises would cause such a ruckus, but apparently members of my family are now concerned about me…..not sure if it’s my sanity, or my eternal soul they are worried about, but a general worry is what I’ve heard. So, lets just get a couple things out of the way. Um, yeah, I’m not a virgin. I haven’t been for quite some time now. I find it hard to believe that anyone who has ever met me would be shocked of this news. This is ME we are talking about here. In fact, I never had any problem admitting to having previous experience with anyone whom I’ve had relations with. I’m NOT one that comes off as innocent, shy, reserved, or embarrassed by sexuality. We all have sex, men all have penises and women all have vaginas and breasts. I mean any book about the human body contains this information; we look at our naked bodies in mirrors and in the shower, so I guess I don’t get what the big deal is. Why should talking about our anatomy or sex be taboo? In today’s day and age we are surrounded by sexual content. Television, radio, magazines, books, movies…..it’s coming at us from all directions. You can open just about any magazine out today and find a column about sexual health, or a survey to find out if you are good in bed…..so how can a little post titled “Does Size Matter” possibly be seen as risqué?

I’m 28 years old. I’m not perfect. I’ve done many things that perhaps aren’t exactly on the path known as straight and narrow, but you know ….that’s my journey, that’s what I need to go through and experience in order to truly feel that I have lived my life on my own terms. I don’t begrudge anyone for what they do or how they choose to live their lives, and all I can do is ask that others extend me that same courtesy.

My Philosophy is:

To each their own……….To each their own……….

What is that saying I heard for anyone looking for a more religious quote…. “Love the Sinner not the sin.”

You don’t have to agree with me, you don’t have to love me for my indiscretions….but you can still love me…..you can if you want to, that choice is up to you. If not, well, so be it.

1975 Global

Okay, so a global guitar probably isn’t a well known brand. It’s like 30 years old and not the newest thing out there…..BUT, I just got her back from Goodwin Music, she’s got new strings, a shiny polish and she’s sounding as smooth as butter…..too bad my playing can’t be described as such.

Tonight before I went to work out, I played until my fingers couldn’t pick another note. All the songs I’ve learned over the last two years were pulled back out and I enthusiastically played every note.

I have to tell you, I’ve wanted to learn to play the guitar since I was a kid, and just like about a million other kids, I said someday I would learn, but it’s been no easy task. Perhaps there are some people who can just pick up a guitar and know how to make music without any training whatsoever, or maybe they will be taught a thing or two and the rest just comes naturally, but I’m no prodigy…..music is something I feel in my soul, yet getting it to come beautifully out the tips of my fingers is another story. However, No matter how hard it’s gotten, it’s been worth every sore finger, clipping off all of my left hand’s finger nails each week and every frustration encountered along the way to get me to my current playing level. I hope that someday, I will be able to “just play”…….but I suspect many people feel that way…..Bill, from Goodwin music says that just when you think you can play, some young person comes along and plays and you find yourself feeling like you’ve only just begun….

I guess guitar playing is like life, there’s always something new to be learned.

A Nice Little Sunday.....

Today I played tennis at the Park. Stephanie brought her girls and Phillip. They are adorable.

We took them for a walk after Steph and I finished our two games of Tennis and Skyler and Madison took turns getting piggyback rides from me. We swung on the swings and we even followed that up with a fake game of baseball and I had so much fun pretending to pitch while making all the sound effects of them hitting homeruns and running the bases. It was some of the most honest fun I’d had in awhile. It was surreal. Their little faces, filled with laughter, hope, honesty. They for that moment in time gave me the gift of their laughter. It touched me.

While waiting in line at the drinking fountain Steph said to me… “Heather, I don’t know why you think you’d make a bad parent!” “My kids like you more than they like me right now!”

I love kids. I really do….so if I’m not afraid of being a bad parent, what am I so afraid of?

Is it written in the Stars?

How much of ourselves are pre-determined?

I wonder this because…..well, because all while growing up, I was raised in a Christian Environment. Astrology, Horoscopes, etc were considered taboo. We were told that they were sacrilegious. BUT….I’ve learned through experience that when dealing with Christianity and religion, throughout history, things that are prohibited, things that are deemed sacrilegious by the church, usually have something to them that scares or contradicts the teachings thereof.

What does the zodiac say about me…..

I was Born in the Zodiac year of the HORSE:
{1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002}

People born in the Year of the Horse are popular. They are cheerful, skillful with money, and perceptive, although they sometimes talk too much. The are wise, talented, good with their hands, and sometimes have a weakness for members of the opposite sex. They are impatient and hot-blooded about everything except
their daily work. They like entertainment and large crowds. They are very independent and rarely listen to advice. They are most compatible with Tigers, and Dogs.

Horses are hardworking people who are generally well liked and admired. As well as working hard, they play hard.

Horses are born under the twin sign of elegance and ardour. Horses are independent, and are well known for their individuality. They intuitively gravitate towards tasks to which they are well suited. This, together with their hard working nature invariably leads to success.

The horse is a strong masculine sign, and both male and female horses are fairly laid back and easy going, while at the same time being direct. Asked for an opinion, the horse will give it, and where factual matters are concerned, the horse is a good source of reliable information.

The horse is a placid person; however, if their passions are brought to the boil, the result is not easily forgotten - wild horses are hard to calm down. In the home the horse is a steady partner, although they are likely to give as much attention to their work as to their families. Horses easily fall in love, but there are many passing relationships before a long-term partner is found.

Horses born under the element sign of fire are said to be blessed with great fortune or cursed will great misfortune. Sometimes they are served both, but in any event, a fire horse will never lead a 'normal' life.

I am also an Aquarius:

Aquarian Personality Traits
Idealism is the main theme of an Aquarian lifestyle. They are optimistic and honest. The most loyal of friends will come in the Aquarian if you are lucky enough to make them a friend. These people don’t give people the chance to get too close to them too easily. Their need for independence keeps others at arms length because Aquarians don’t like changing their lives and they know they will have to in order to let others into them.

These sweet people try to see the best in others and can always see why others do the things they do. Aquarians know that they are blessed and not everyone else is. Others see Aquarians as detached, unemotional beings, which is far from truth. Others can believe and may be right that Aquarians can be perverse.

Aquarians do not like to be fenced in and will fight it with very inventive methods. They don’t need barriers of any sort and will contest them to the end. High intelligence goes along with inventiveness. And they are sure to invent items that keep them without restraints. Give them free rein and they will do whatever is expected of them but try to interfere and feel their wrath. And this is one sign you don’t want to get irritated.

These people are naturally friendly, honest and loyal and for them, it can sometimes cause hard lessons to be learned. Once learned, Aquarians retain their experiences so as not to ever have to go through them again. This quality makes them appear unemotional.

Trying to push an Aquarian can bring out the contrary attitudes in them. They can’t be pushed and can be very stubborn.

In career they are good as inventors, communications, airlines or any technical area of radio or television, and social workers helps their humanitarian side.

Aquarius Symbol
Water bearer

Aquarius Ruling Planet
Uranus

Aquarius Character Traits
Friendly
Humanitarian
Honest
Loyal
Original
Inventive
Independent
Intellectual
Unpredictable
Unemotional
Detached

Areas of body affected
Shins
Ankles
Circulation

Aquarius Gemstone
Aquamarine

Aquarius Colors
Electric blue
Turquoise

Okay, now, for those of you who know me, those of you who read this blog and through the information provided feel as if you kind of know me, how close to being accurate are these determinations? I really want your thoughts on this one…..I’ll follow up with mine in the next post.

Tell me, is zodiac bullshit?

Do the stars have me pegged wrong?

Or is there a mystical lesson we could all learn from these alternative, legendary determinations?

Does Size Really Matter? (WARNING....SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT!)

Yesterday when I was going to work I was listening to KISS 92.5 in Toledo, Ohio to a program called the ladies room. The topic yesterday morning was “Does Size Matter?”

Apparently men around the world often wonder if their manhood is enough to truly satisfy a woman. So, I thought, I would lend my experience in the matter to anyone who is left wondering…..

First of all the normal supposed size ranges from 4 inches to 7 inches. It’s been my experience that it’s all good as long as it isn’t too big, or too small, and this varies from woman to woman depending on her own physical make up. Women are like men, we are all made up differently, some women can handle a larger man, while some women would simply just be in pain.

Now, I don’t want to come off like a hussy or anything, but I’ll just come out and tell you, I’ve seen a few in my day. The perfect ones, the skinny ones, the thick ones, the small ones and big ones and I even saw a very, very, tiny one once.

We’ve all heard the phrase “it’s not the size that matters, it’s if you know what to do with it that matters….well in part, this is true. I’ve been with a man with a relatively less than average sized member and with him, it really didn’t matter for he more than knew what to do in the bedroom and it overshadowed anything to do with size, but then again, he just wasn’t that big, but he wasn’t small either.

Then there was the big guy, Mr. Italian guy…..lack of size was not a problem with him. He was definitely at the upper end of the size scale, and he was good, but I wouldn’t say that it was better with him or worst with him than someone who was smaller. Both "slightly less than average guy" and "slightly bigger than average guy" were on opposite sides of the size scale, but they were both good in bed, both enjoyable, but size really wasn’t the major determinate in whether I enjoyed them physically.

Now the one time that size was a problem was when I came face to face with a fully erect one that couldn’t have measured two inches long by one inch thick and well boys, I’m sorry to tell you, but if that’s what you got, don’t expect to be making fireworks in the bedroom with sex alone. You’ll definitely have to step up your game in all other areas of sexual play in order to have a fulfilling sex life.

Someone once said to me that it would be shallow to leave someone for having a small penis, and that sex doesn’t matter that much, well, perhaps that is true, it’s just never been true in my experience. Sex for men is how they feel the most connected with their partner. Sex for women is a chance to lose themselves in passion, to be completely out of touch with the rest of her world…..the bedroom is the place for monogamous people to feel sexy, to feel alive in ways in which children, jobs, bills, etc can get you down and wear you out physically and emotionally. So call me shallow, but if there’s no physical love your other love will suffer, you’ll never be as happy as someone who has managed to find love and a great sexual partner all within the same person.

Keep in mind too that sex isn't just about size and the ins and outs of the actual act of sex, it's connection, it's how you make your partner feel. Do you know where they love to be kissed? Do you touch them in ways in which make them yearn for you to please them? If you can get inside a woman's head, really know her, you'll find sex to be more than you ever thought it could be. And for any women reading this, sometimes letting your man know you that intimately can be intimidating, but in the long run, it's worth any amount of initial uncertainty to be able to have a man inside of you who's inside of you in more ways than one.

So for you men out there who aren’t quite sure where you stand, the whole size matters idea, it only matters when dealing in extremes. If average is something you’ve thought to be a bad thing, you couldn’t be more wrong….add some great moves, passionate uninhibited sexual energy to a average Joe, and you’ll become anything but average! Trust me! :)

Pretty Random Tuesday Thoughts.......

It’s Tuesday night, my only weeknight of leisure. Today I worked from 8:30 – 4:30 at Job #1…. “The Firm” {as I will call it from here on out} and then put in two hours doing billings etc. at Technicon. Upon completion of my extended workday I popped over to my ex-boss’s house to feed the turtle and get the mail. See Tony and his family are in Florida for the week and he asked me to turtle/house sit for him in his absence. I’m really quite honored that after eight long years of faithful dedication to the man, I’m still being trusted with the complexities of Turtle maintenance and mail collection. It’s a milestone in my career! *winks* All kidding aside, I’m perfectly happy to do it. It’s great to know that even though I’m gone from Technicon, they continue to keep the door slightly cracked for me.

Today was day #2 of week #3 for me at “The Firm”! I’ve successfully completed two full weeks. This truly being a milestone in my career! That first week, well I won’t sugar coat it, it was awful! Instead of hanging my coat from the coat rack, I wanted to rig up a noose with one of the assorted ties hanging there and hang myself. Thank God that feeling has began to pass!

I feel obliged to share some of the wisdom I’ve gained from being employed at “The Firm” with you, use it as you see fit:

#1 – Mondays are “DUI Day”!

#2 – You shouldn’t ever fully trust a beautician with blue hair.

#3 – Crimes are committed by the innocent, for no one is ever guilty of anything…. according to them.

#4 – You can be cited for using vulgar/abusive language towards an officer during a traffic stop.

#5 – Rumor has it that State Highway Patrolmen mark cars parked in pub parking lots with some sort of reflective tape or marking of some sort either on the bumpers or tires of said cars in order to target bar patrons as they leave alcohol serving establishments.

#5 – Lawyers have some of the funniest people stories.

In other news, it was sixty some degrees yesterday. Today is snowed. Springtime in Ohio…..Priceless!

The other day, I woke up and it was still dark outside. I woke up in mid dream. I was dreaming of one of the most influential men from my past….no, for a change it wasn’t my crazy-father killing-me dream, it was a dream in which my first true love filled my unconscious mind. He looked just as I had remembered him. I could actually still hear his laughter, that distinct laugh seemed to echo throughout the room as my eyes opened to find myself only laying in bed alone…..Why is it that some people, no matter how much time may pass, they never quite leave your mind. I often wonder if I’ve ever left a lasting impression on someone to that same effect. Does anyone ever wake up haunted by the memory of me?!?


This being the one who haunts me.....Still.
MJF

Kids?

Okay so this weekend I went to see my Sister up in Wisconsin, my mom, my sister and Keith in tow. We usually go up every March, we go to the Kalahari Resort and Spa (Indoor Waterpark) and do some swimming, take my niece Emma there to splash around for the day.....plus there are some great waterslides and a wave pool which are pretty fun to play around with. Anyway, while there I noticed so many people being pulled around by their kids, chasing the little ones to keep them from harm's way, handing out money, picking up towels, adjusting bathing suits, taking potty breaks, looking frantically for props to stop a crying child.....and everyone just looked exhausted. I had a headache so I probably looked a lot like most people there, but I found joy in watching little Emma splashing around and enjoying herself. However I found it nice that I too could close my eyes and drift off for an afternoon nap without feeling responsible for anybody else around me. Call me selfish!

Between naps and a few trips to the wave pool, I watched everyone around me, they just reminded me so much of zombies. Here are all of these wonderful human beings, and they are just spent. Their kids exhausting them mentally and physically and financially too. These scenes are the kind of scenes that scare me when it comes to having kids.

Like I told Rachel tonight, when you have kids, your life is put on hold until there are no more diapers to change, no more burp cloths to wash and no more babysitters to hunt down. Trust me I'm aware of how selfish that sounds, but on the other hand, is it selfish to have children you don't have time for, or don't know that you can sacrifice everything for? I just wonder how many people have kids because it's what everyone does when they get married and get to a certain age. Is there a happy balance between being you and being a parent? How do you know you have what it takes to be everything to another living person for the first years of their life? I know I've posted these things before, but I'm still as in the dark now as I was then. I used to think that perhaps I just didn't feel secure in my relationship and that was the problem, but things feel pretty certain now.....yet these doubts still linger.

A while back, I spoke with someone and they had said once that people were breeders. That people who weren't very intelligent feel that their only contribution to this world, to life was to create more life. That seemed like a very harsh judgment when I heard it....I wonder how many other people feel this way.....I am in awe of people who just know, they just feel it in their bones that they were meant for parenthood. I've got nothing over here.

You know those aptitude tests you take like your 8th grade year in school, they tell you you are good at Science, or Critical thinking.....they should have a portion to see if you have what it takes to properly create and raise another human being. That kind of information would be really, really great to have right about now! Now there's a test I wouldn't mind taking.

What I learned this weekend:

In Chicago, there are two kind of drivers, those who know how to drive, and those who do not!

Indoor water parks are filled with families who go their for their children, and I’m not sure if they do it for fun, or if they do it out of obligation. Mostly, people just looked tired.

Men are creatures of purpose, they seem twice as likely to feel uncomfortable sitting poolside with nothing to do, without a project, than women.

Most all women worry about how they look in bathing suits while some men think they look dead sexy with more hair on their backs than on their heads all while sporting speedos....Men, you have to love them!!

Relationships sometimes are better on a one on one basis, putting relationships like this together in one place at the same time alters the chemistry, and can sometimes pollute the air!

Two year olds can go from super cute to whiny and irritated in two seconds flat.

When using artificial tanning products, be prepared to have orange palms.

When using artificial tanning products, be thankful you have big boobs, so when you legs look like you spray painted them in zig zag patterns with tan paint, you don't need to worry, because men's eyes rarely make it lower than your belly button!

There aren’t enough Chipoltes between my house and Neshkoro Wisconsin. I only saw one!

Springtime is a welcome change from sleet and snow!

I love my new digital camera, even more than I originally thought that I would. (all the pictures in this post were taken with it!)

When a dog goes to a kennel for the weekend, I think it must be for them like prison would be for us.

Traveling should be relaxing but instead it anti-relaxing, even when you are asleep.

If ordering from the Long Branch Saloon, if you are hungry, don’t order the Catfish with potato wedges.

The prison Jeffery Dahmer was killed at can be seen from the Highway going to the Wisconsin Dells.

Moose are super cool close up.

Waldo the lion really likes to chew on my hand and just like your everyday housecat, loves to have his belly rubbed!

I don’t look half bad in bunny ears! (Notice I didn't post the pic of this! *smile*)

Food....Blah, Blah, Blah....................Blah!

First of all let me apologize for my lack of blogging….this new job has sucked the life right out of me….No, seriously, I’m not joking….my normal creativity level of 9.5 out of 10 has sunk to a all time low of like a 2. I guess Technicon allowed me a certain amount of creativity that the “real world” doesn’t allow…..Damn real world! Who knew lawyers weren't exactly inspirational!?! I guess the real world isn't as entertaining as is the legal world according to Law & Order, Ally McBeal & Boston Legal! {wink}

So last night as I was driving home from aerobics class with Stephanie, we were discussing food choices. Lately the whole “food” thing has just had me disgusted. I don’t know if it’s the wintertime blahs or what, but cooking, grocery buying, eating in general has just got me down. I know this sounds a bit um, well, mad….for who gets sick of eating…..but food has always been kind of a high point in my life…..a reward if you will…..

Let me take you back for better understanding……….Okay, well first off I come from a family of six. Mom, Dad, Angie, Me, Brooke and Lance. Now I don’t want to say we were destitute, or that my mom was a bad cook, but from someone on the outside looking in….well….they might say that if they were strictly going on appearances. Here’s why: You know your standard can of corn, green beans, or lets say peas…the back of the can says it serves 3 ½ people or servings. Well at our house, only one can was ever prepared for our family of six. Hamburger patties were always paper-thin maybe topped with a Kraft single if you were lucky and they usually were about the size of the opening of a standard sized coffee mug. Now when you combine all of that with the fact that this family of six worked their asses off on a farm all day, well appetites could get pretty ravenous. One teaspoon of corn, a hamburger the size of a fifty-cent piece and a half a glass of milk, well it just couldn’t satisfy that deep down hunger. So as an adult, out on my own for the very first time, I didn’t really know much about say fresh vegetables, how to prepare them, how wonderful they can taste…..See we pretty much grew up on the following:

Peanut butter Sandwiches
Bologna Sandwiches
Hot dogs
Campbell’s Soup
Hamburgers
Chili
Spaghetti
Sausage
Macaroni & Cheese
Lunch Meat Sandwiches
Pizza (as a weekend treat)
Chips
Salmon Patties
Meatloaf
Roast (in the pressure cooker on occasion)

That really was pretty much the extent of our dining pleasure while growing up. It wasn’t until I was older that I ever tasted seafood, peppers, a decent steak, Chinese food or Tuna just to name a few…..

So back to my story…..now that I’m an adult I am feeling the effects of never having what one would say an established healthy eating habit. I am not much of a cook although that’s more about not knowing what to cook as opposed to actually being able to cook a good meal…for what I do cook I do okay with. But as I was telling Steph last night, if I were filthy rich, and I could afford any amount of luxury one of the top five services I would implement in my life is having a chef of my very own. Someone who would cook me healthy tasty meals. How fabulous would it be to just have someone call you and say “Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes Madam HeatherLynn.” or “Would you like your breakfast served poolside Ms. Heather?” Just to have foods prepared in ways that were healthy and filling, that tasted fresh and not out of a box or can would be really the most amazing gift. It’s times like these I wish I was like all the Catholic folks around me, fasting and having to eat fish on Fridays, maybe I’ll convert……..nah who am I kidding! :)

Summertime will soon be here bringing back fresh fruit, picnic foods, cookouts, crazy things like pasta salad, coleslaw and potato salad, things cooked on the grill and plenty of exercise (Tennis, Volleyball, Swimming, Running) to work off every last calorie we ingest.

Summertime…..dear summertime, please hurry back.....I need to feel your embrace, my skin is pale, my house is cold, my heating bills are really soaring....it's time we put old man winter to bed, sail through springtime and head straight for sunny sensational summer! Who's with me?!!?

Brotherly Love......Coincidence.....I think NOT!

Yesterday…another stressful day at the Lawyer’s office. So going to work out at the YMCA after work was a much needed stress reliever.

I came home, ate a salad and a piece of garlic toast and headed off for aerobics class with Steph. Class was tough, but getting a little easier than that first class. That first hour always seems to be the longest……poor Steph coming down from a painkiller high was starting to feel the after shock of her root canal, but thought losing some weight so she can wear a bikini in two months was worth any amount of pain just kept plugging along….talk about dedication….my hat’s off to you Stephanie!

On the way home I found out my brother-in-law Matt was in the area. He was delivering something to my Uncle Ben’s place, down the road from here and was planning on staying at our house overnight and then heading back for Wisconsin the next morning. I was excited to get home to see him.

Matt is one crazy cat. See he married my sister back in 1999, but I knew him from when he was a sophomore in High School. See back when I was like 13/14ish a friend of the family tried to fix me up with this long haired stoner looking kid from Wisconsin. He played guitar, listened to Megadeath, and every other hard rock band you could imagine and liked to wear dark colored clothing….probably Band-T’s. I won’t say that he wasn’t my type for I have always been a lover of all different kinds of God’s wondrous male creations, but he was three states away from me, so it was hard to imagine a romantic relationship with someone who I could never see…..so we became pen pals! We wrote to each other back and forth for years. We did eventually meet at on of my parent’s exotic animal auctions; he got drunk and passed out with a dead aoudad in the vet’s office and I knew straight away he was like a brother to me. A rockin brother at that!
Then I’d say sometime in the late nineties my little sister Brooke told me she had a crush on my dear pen pal Matthew and they talked on the phone a time or two after we all tried fixing them up with each other….only to find out later that my big sister Angie decided that she had feelings for him…..

{Big Sister Angie}

I’m not so sure she knew right away what kind of feelings, but undetermined feelings that could use some time for exploration. It wasn’t but a month or two later, she broke up with her boyfriend of like 5+ years and moved from Columbus, Ohio to small town Wisconsin. Supposedly they were just friends at the time the move took place! {yeah right Angie!!! I always move hundreds of miles away from home just to hang out with some guy for the summer as “FRIENDS”…she was doing him! ha....ha...ha..I know her too well! Too bad for Brooke though....} Angie married Matthew just a year later.

Anyway…..so Matt and I go way back I guess you could say. I think he’s a diamond in the rough, well, maybe I should say he’s a diamond that needs polished up a little before anyone truly sees his brilliance, his charm if you will. He’s the kind of guy that can do a Beavis and Butthead impression that ACTUALLY makes you laugh, the kind of guy who is amazingly good at one thing and can undoubtedly bullshit his way into making you believe he’s just as good at something else…..He plays the guitar like a rock star, he smiles at all the wrong moments {after the camera flashes, when he’s being mischievous….}, he’s a father, he’s a friend, he’s a man and yet retains his boyish youthfulness…..

It’s like this…..I love the guy. I realized this while rocking out with him playing the guitar and me playing every song on my computer to see if he could pick the guitar out of them and play along…..like me, music moves him, makes him come alive in ways that nothing else can…..and in the absence of the love from my own brother….he’s all I got. The good news is….he’s more than I could ask for. Here’s to you…..my pen-pal, my brother-in-law, my friend….Matthew.