I had a dream.....

and it had a handsome, tall dark haired fellow in it. He's new on the scene, for normally the man of my dreams is none other than Edward Norton....but apparently, not only can I not commit when I'm conscious, I apparently am non-committal in my dreams as well.

Poor Edward, how am I going to tell him...this is going to break his heart. I mean....look at him, it's Orlando, he's amazingly attractive, damn near pretty....perfect hair, YOUNGER....people hate it when they get set out by the curb for a younger, hotter, Buddhist version of their old selves.

I must be feeling a bit romantic, sexually driven this week, I have had some of the most blissful dreams the past few nights....makes it quite difficult to want to drag these old bones outta bed and trot off to work each morning.

*sighs*....speaking of which....I could use a nap right about now....

The view is just sweeter when my eyes are closed.....

Gone are the Days....

of the lucky Rabbit's foot. And I didn't even realize it, but it's true...when was the last time you saw a kid running around with a dead rabbit's foot clipped to their belt loop, or on their key chain?

and I think to myself....while I'm not an animal rights activist, the idea of killing bunnies for their feet is a bit non PC in today's day and age. I mean, animal rights activists would throw red paint of people who wore fur, PETA encourages boycotts of designers that use fur in their clothing lines...but where are they on the bunny foot front? Why haven't I been shown a 60 Minutes expose about the behind the scenes covert operation to put rabbit foot tycoons out of business.

Which leads me to my next question....why is a rabbit's foot considered lucky? What's the origin of this...

{Excerpt from http://www.wikipedia.com/ which provides answers for all of my nagging question needs...}

The belief originates in the system of African-American folk magic known as hoodoo. A number of strictures attached to the charm that are now observed mostly in the breach:

First, not any old foot from a rabbit will do: it is the left hind foot of a rabbit that is useful as a charm.

Second, not any left hind foot of a rabbit will do; the rabbit must have been shot or otherwise captured in a cemetery.

Third, at least according to some sources, not any left hind foot of a rabbit shot in a cemetery will do: the phase of the moon is also important. Some authorities say that the rabbit must be taken in the full moon, while others hold instead that the rabbit must be taken in the new moon.

Some sources say instead that the rabbit must be taken on a Friday, or a rainy Friday, or Friday the 13th. Some sources say that the rabbit should be shot with a silver bullet, while others say that the foot must be cut off while the rabbit is still alive.[1]

Interesting, very interesting indeed....When I was a kid, I had one. It was white and I kept it in a cigar box under my bed. I'm not really quite sure, but I was a superstitious little kid. I would often times search for 4-leaf clovers, rub my rabbit's foot, knock on wood and worry when I walked under a ladder, broke a mirror or had a black cat cross my path.

How on earth, a six year old white bread redhead little girl from Ohio got superstitious I'll never know.

Humorist R. E. Shay once said: "Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit"....

and that's the thing about superstitions, they are what you make them....just like astrology, numerology....tarot cards and other mystical musings....who knows if they work, or if it's all a bunch of hooey, but their is folklore there...and where there is folklore, there is a story that set the stage for it's infamy.....and I think it's just human nature for people to be drawn to things of mystery, magic and legend....especially now...when all of our myths are being busted. I wonder if the same curiosity that killed the cat, will be what kills every good mystery we have left. Nobody likes a "know-it-all" ya know!

Sure wish I knew what happened to that cigar box that held my greatest childhood treasures like my lucky rabbit's foot, man's broken wrist watch, fools gold and braided friendship bracelets....

Greetings from the "Shampoo Convention"....

Well, that's what I call it here anyway....

When four women all settle into one residence, it's like a shampoo, conditioning, hair product free-for-all. You ever see how many bottles of shampoo there are in a shower with four women? How many loofah's there are hanging on every hangable surface ....? Well, for my male readers, and women who have not the pleasure of having sisters... it's A LOT! The reason it's a convention isn't just because there are so many products available and on display, but because each of us becomes some sort of sales rep for our product of choice, trying to sell the other on "how reasonably priced" it is, or how "it really helped so and so with her fly away problem".... like it's a contest to see who can convert someone to switch by the end of their stay! It's weird...and it's women for ya...don't even try and understand us... we are complex, shampoo using creatures...

So far, vacation has been great! I know right?! With my family, you never know how it's going to go...*laughs*....and before they read this and get mad at me, let me just say, I love them dearly, but there are times, when the moon is just right and the tide is out... that we all get along famously and the whole event comes off without a hitch....but like the competing shampoo agenda in the shower, four women, all of the same damn O***** blood... oh we can clash like the greasers and the squares on the "Outsiders".... there's no real point mind you....and nobody ever really comes out a winner... but there are those times.... and I am hoping that perhaps the universe is aligned just so that no storms should come, nor go.... not now, not this weekend.... because DAMNIT... I'M ON VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, really, I am....and I'm lovin it.

No work today, no dealing with clients, or drama....and let me tell you, for the record, there's a BOATLOAD of drama awaiting me in Ohio. Just to let you in on a little secret.... you know the place I just moved to.. yeah, well I might have to move out...which technically will make me a homeless person, since my apartment is already rented out to my friend Garrett, who I happily recruited to take over my little adorable dwelling. There is new "fatherly" drama on the horizon.... which in and of itself makes my stomach ache with worry and fear of future mortification.

While I love Ohio, and all the people that fill my life with the utmost amazing accompaniment, I wonder if perhaps this is exactly what is supposed to happen. I don't step out of my comfort zone too easily. I don't move, leave, or disrupt a life that seems to get me by..... mostly because I'm afraid.... of where it will lead, or in my mind...LEAVE me. For some people, every journey is about a destination, and for a meandering aimless soul as myself.... endings are dead ends, they are where you WIND up.... not where you aspire to be. I don't know where I'm going, so "ending up".... "winding up".... well, that is a fairly scary notion. I envy people with a dream.... I know I have some down deep inside me somewhere, but where some people get out of bed each day and know exactly where they are going.... my dream is more like that foggy memory of a dream... like, geesh, I know I was dreaming, and it was a good dream... but I can't remember who was in it and what the heck happened..... *scratches head in dismay* .... where'd my dream go? I juuuust had it.... fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Anywho.... getting off track there... so vacation is going great. Today we went to the zoo with the kids, then to the outlet mall, where ole Heather here, got a teeny weeny bit shop happy and accidental bought a bunch of really new awesome clothes...oh and you should see my new black heels with the closed toe, just in time for fall, and the vine stitching on the side.. oh, they are a sight to behold.... in the absence of sex... a girl will/should always have her second favorite thing....and that is a great, sexy, elegant, traffic stoppin pair of heels. Wow, would you listen to me... I keep going off on a tangent, first drama, dreams and now shoes....I swear I have ADD or something.... I wonder if my old friend still has any adderall, that stuff is amazing.... *coughs*... uh, I mean, that's what I hear.... I wouldn't know anything about it really....

{changes subject}

So, tomorrow it's to the flea market, followed by a night at Norton's for dinner and live music as well as water sport entertainment in the form of a ski show on Green Lake....an event which will surely give me the opportunity to give my newly attained attire a test run before taking my loot back to the Buckeye State. Which has me thinking...., if I'm going to be homeless, I'm going to look pretty sharp for someone who lives between the dumpsters behind the West Side Laundromat... at least "Chubs", my dog, will enjoy free rein of places to piss...

and on that note...if this were television and if I had a producer, he'd be motioning to me to wrap up this aimless rambling...he'd probably be sporting a really bad tie, and have coffee and cigarette breath....I think maybe even curly brown hair and a 70's porn mustache....but IF he were real, he'd be telling me to bid you adieu, so to keep my imaginary friends appeased........ farewell, and remember never let your imagination....take vacation. Life is just more colorful when you take it with you, everywhere you go....

~hl~

A Night out....A GIRLY night out....

So tonight I went out with Michelle and Tina....I had planned on finishing moving, however the rain decided to give me the night off. So when Michelle asked me to come over to her and Jimmy's house for dinner and then go to see a movie with her and Tina, I really had no excuse why I couldn't...so I went....and I'm glad I did. Good food, good friends, a movie followed by watching UFC fights with the guys...while having a girly drink...it was an all around good night.

Tonight's movie was Mama Mia staring Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth...& Co. and I had heard it was a musical...and I was a little iffy as to whether I'd like it....with all the ABBA singing, dancing, choreography, etc.....but once you got over the fact that "YESSS, they are going to sing some of their lines...and YESSSSS....those guys are dancing like a Broadway number..."...you tend to start to get in a "Grease" state of mind.

It's been forever since I watched a musical, and it was good for me to go from "wanted" to a nice girlie feel good movie like Mama Mia....a girl's got to maintain her own diversity...

The movie was a tribute to what women are like when they are without men. I don't know if you men know this, but women, well, we are really quite different when left to our own devices....when you testicle transporters aren't around, we are like wild women! *laughs* Take for instance me, when I was married, I was a lot different than I am now. Women in relationships tend to be more serious, responsible, motherly....women who have no men to tend to, answer to, fuss over....well, we can get into all sorts of mischief. Gone is a certain sense of responsibly and accountability....within reason of course, for all refined women know where to draw the line....if you aren't careful, you can easily fall into the "drunken slut" "homewrecker" or find yourself on the newest edition of "girls gone wild"...and well, regardless of how splendid one's breasts ARE....it's just distasteful to flop em' out while going....wooohoooooo and spilling your Zima in the process....you know what I mean girls....I know you do.

The friendships between Meryl and her singing friends is really pretty dynamic, and we as women all have the want in us to maintain our "wild and carefree" friends of the past through motherhood, through marriage....and in my case, divorce....and find that when we begin our menopausal phase, that we'll have our hotflashing sisterhood of bitches right there to get us through it....God knows that we don't understand what's going on with our bodies, how the hell is some dude supposed to, even if he DID live with us for the last thirty years...it's irrelevant.

The movie was good....the beautiful backdrop of Greece intoxicates you with it's colors and at times you almost feel that you are there smelling the sea yourself....and Meryl and Co., entertain you outlandishly with their antics and at times, rather peculiar dance moves.

MEN: YOU WILL HATE THIS MOVIE....FYI. But if you want to get laid, BIG TIME....tell her that while the movie wasn't the greatest, you would go anywhere as long as you got to sit next to "her"...

girls like that stuff....they also like it when you do the dishes without being asked and when you manage to get your dirty clothes INTO the clothes hamper.

Okay....too much estrogen...must go...

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL....WILL SIGHT BE MY DOWNFALL?

The other night, my sister was telling me that she was watching "Extreme Makeover - Home Edition" and there was this kid on there that was blind and in a wheelchair....despite his "disabilities" he was extremely advanced in other areas. He was an accomplished musician...started playing the piano blindly at only 9 months of age....and so well spoken you'd feel that you were speaking with accomplished English Professor during the course of a conversation with him.

During the show, the host, Ty, asked him about his lack of eyesight being a disadvantage...and he told Ty that having sight is as much of a disability as him not having it was. And I think he's right in a way, eye sight is very competing with our other senses....we learn to drown out noise to suppress our hearing, taste only comes into play when eating, smelling...its something that most of the time is an unconscious thing...only becoming alive when a strong good or bad smell is introduced into the environment around us....but sight, unless you close your eyes, it's never shut off, it's our dominant form of sense, direction....we learn from books that we SEE....we know our friends and family when we SEE them.....but what if our sight was gone? We'd learn to smell our friends, we'd develop stronger hearing skills....we'd recognize voices instead of faces, we'd smell what was next to us to determine our surroundings. Every bite of food you took could be a surprise for you, not knowing what you were getting until it hit your tongue to taste it.

Now for the record, I LOOOOOOVE my sight. It's essential to the pretty pictures I take, the commute I make to work....I'm a very visual oriented person. However, I think about all the great guys I've met that I wasn't attracted to.....and I think to myself, If I couldn't see them, would I have loved them? COULD I have loved them?

Does sight make us shallow...and unable to see that inner beauty is far, far more important than outer attractiveness? Or if I were blind....would I then start not dating someone because they smelled funny, tasted weird or had a voice/laugh that was annoying? What makes us discard people....is it really something superficial like looks, laughs, taste and smell, or is it our natural instinct? Our gut that's weeding out people and using the other senses as it's cover?

My cousin Rachel says that when you LOVE someone looks don't matter....and that you'll only grow MORE attracted as that love grows....however this hasn't ever happened to me before...for me, it's always been first comes attraction, then comes the rest....and without the first spark of initial attraction...I'm like "Eh...it's not ever going to happen..." But that's just fucked up if you ask me......and it's not like I don't see people for who they are on the inside...because I do.....but I've never been able to close my eyes and shut off my libido and allow my other senses guide my heart to love. Which leads me to question myself....What does attraction have to do with love? I'm not attracted to my sisters, but I LOVE them wholeheartedly. I'm not attracted to my mom, but I love her...but then again, what's the major difference between a friend and a spouse? It's that that you have SEX with your spouse and not your friend. So a spouse is your best friend that you are ALSO attracted to...right?

Ideally....your spouse is your best friend....AND your lover. How on earth do people get lucky enough to have both? I have the best best-friends...and I've had amazing lovers....but to find both in ONE person....you'd be lucky to find it ONCE in a lifetime, let alone twice.

SEX OFFENDER * SEX OFFENDER * SEX OFFENDER

Today I went to my old apartment to get the mail.... before coming to the new place. I got ANOTHER Dr. Bill.... the remnants of a rather peculiar spring when i suffered from a rather nasty staph infection I had on my eyelid..as I call it, my "freak staph infestation"... anyway, with the dreaded Dr. bill, there was another kind of dreaded shred of mail...and that's a "SEX OFFENDER NOTIFICATION".

First drug dealers selling dope and who knows what else in the alley beside my house, and NOW a sex offender???....the neighborhood used to be so pleasant....walks to the Creamery now are a little less Normal Rockwell, and little more Steven King....or Dean Koontz.

I've never received a sex offender notice via mail before today. I knew there were websites where you could go check to see who lives near you, however I didn't know that when one moved to the neighborhood, that they would send you a notification in the mail. Talk about giving the guy a warm welcome to the neighborhood. They even gave me his address, photograph, age, height, weight and a brief description of his scars and tattoos. His name is Kermit John Bricker and he's a sex offender.

The world sure has changed from the days when I was a kid....when there used to be pictures of missing kids on the back of milk cartons, and now the perpetrator's pictures arrive to us by mail with safety instructions on how to avoid characters like him.

Not that I am siding with the perverts and serial rapists of the world, but can you imagine the shame and the embarrassment that follows you when you are a registered sex offender? A label that you never escape.....?

Can you imagine if every one's sexual history was registered. You'd get a notice in the mail that your best friend from high school's mom likes three-somes, Betty Lou next door had sex with half of Delphos in the 50's....your 5th grade teacher is a swinger and that cute guy across the alley....he's gay, so you can just stop trying to get his attention!

What if the information age disbursed all of OUR information?! Everyone knew about that one night stand you had in college, or that time you woke up after a drunken night with the girls and you were wearing someone else's bra....this didn't happen to me personally, but you hear things along the way....

The point being, sex offenders, while they are obviously more perverse and deviant than us average folk...., they have no closet to hide their skeletons in. You and me, we still have the blanket of sexual anonymity...they however...their history, their sexual preferences and fetishes are out there for the whole world to see.....and you know once its gone....privacy is the one thing you never seem to get back. Be thankful for yours tonight.

~hl~

Greetings from the "other side of the tracks"....

I'm all moved in. Okay, well I'm 89% moved in anyway. I'm so beat, every muscle in my body aches...I feel more like80 than I do 30. Moving is a task best utilized by those who still maintain their youth....us old timers needn't bother with the madness of moving...I guess at my age, I should be successful enough to be able to afford movers or something of the like.... uh... yeah... *laughs*... as you all know too well....that IS NOT the case here! No sirree!

The last eight days seem like a blur to me....first Jason gave me the grand tour on Monday night, and then I got my dog on Tuesday, by Wednesday I was down here peeling old wallpaper off the walls, primered on Thursday, painted on Friday...Moved in on Saturday, moved in some more on Sunday morning...followed by yard work and organization all night.

Tonight...after dinner with Ashley and Jake, I moved some more and cleaned at my old apartment...I mean, it's just never freaking ending and I'm STILL NOT DONE! YUCK!!

I don't know what it is about this place, but it's kinda lonely...and I'm trying to remember if I felt this way when I moved into the last place....I think maybe because it's so much bigger, maybe that's why it seems like I'm more alone....lots of dark corners...and empty space.

Jason (aka my roommate) is going to shit when he comes home from the road and finds that his bathroom is adorned with a flowered girlie shower curtain, this house smells fresh and clean....and there are actually things on the walls. What can I say, he said make myself at home....and that's exactly what I did. I can't believe he let me move in while he was out of town, having no idea what I was doing over here! Guess he really does trust me.

Here's a confession for you...his bedroom, across the hall from my own....I've never been allowed to see what's in there. He showed me the spare room and my would-be room but his door stayed closed....and now it's like Pandora's box...I stare at it...I ponder what lies on the other side...and yet, reluctantly, I respect my roommate barriers and I do not enter.....but I've got to tell you, I'm so freaking curious...I wonder how many of you guys would have looked by now? C'mon....you all know you'd be curious too!! I'm not a total freak....just a girl...with a healthy or slightly overactive curiosity.

I don't even feel like I'm in Delphos anymore....It's like I'm in a whole other state....I moved literally two minutes from my old apartment....yet, everything....from my neighbors, traffic, street lights is different....everything. It's amazing what a difference a couple blocks makes.

It may take me a little getting used to, but I really think I'm going to like it here....I just have a feeling....and it's an optimistic one.


Oh, and for any interested parties....Jason, my roommate....he and I are JUST FRIENDS. Not "just friends" with a wink and a smile like I've said before....but honestly, our relationship is strictly platonic....no funny business with the landlord over here...and I DO NOT clean the house in a French Maid uniform....well, not while he's home anyway! I reserve that for the burly tattooed neighbor guy across the street.


Night night luvs!

~hl~

Survey Says:

If you had to give up one of your favorite foods, and your favorite foods were

#1 - Pizza

#2 - Mexican

#3 - Cheeseburgers

Which would you give up and be able to just live without the rest of your life?

See, I love pizza....mmmmmm...I really do, and Mexican...my favorite restaurant is Bandito's...but cheeseburgers....OMG...who doesn't love them? And while I love Pizza and mexican MORE than a generic ole burger....a burger would haunt me MORE.

Cookouts, get togethers....most fast food places are burger joints....french fries go perfectly with them....man, that would be tough.

So for me, I don't think I could give up cheeseburgers....and this coming from a girl who gave up smoking, and is still on the wagon....and smoke free!

Then again, if I gave up all THREE Of my favorite foods, I'd be as skinny as Kate Moss...so maybe I should consider saying buh-bye to all three?!??!?!.....Nahhhh....what fun would that be?! *laughs*

It's lunchtime...go getcha some....

This blog brought to you by Wendy's....swing in and have yourself a frosty today!

~hl~

The Blog Moved....and Now I am!

Yep, you heard me. "I'M" moving. Officially.

So, say goodbye to my Bridget Jones' Diary Apartment...say goodbye to the view of the church that I love across the street, and the short walk to the library. I'm a little bummed, but I think it's for the best.

At my age, you don't want to grow to comfortable of these kind of things, cause if you do, you get too cozy just getting by. Next thing you know, you wake up, you're 55 and you lived the best years of your life hauling laundry baskets up rickety old wooden stairs nearly killing yourself...and for what? What will you have to show for it? NOTHING!

So, in an effort to save money....and who knows, maybe buy my own house again someday....(they say the 3rd times a charm)....I'm going to accept my friend Jason's offer to move in with him. I know, I know...this is a little "iffy"...I mean, what if I hate it? What if it doesn't work out? Yeah, I've thought of these things too....and well, the answer is, I'm homeless. *laughs*

It's not an attractive option for me and my brand new dog to be sleeping in my neon, but I just have to have faith that first, Jason wouldn't do that to me, and secondly, that Steph will let me come live in her basement again should something catastrophic occur that would lead to me being homeless.

So, I have two weeks to get all my shit, down those stairs and across town to my new place of residence. Did I mention I don't have a truck or anybody contracted to help? Yeah, July's going to be a fun month for me, a new dog, a new home...oh the "newness" just keeps on coming.

So for those of you who want to help a sister out....please....please....HELP ME!!!!!!

~hl~

For those of you.....

who subscribed to receive updates as to when this blog is updated, you'll have to re-subscribe with the new url address....or you will only get updates when the old site is updated...which will be like...uh...never....so...just wanted to give you the heads up.

~hl~

Welcome to Jerry Springer-ville

I grew up in a small town, most of you know all about good ole Delphos....home of the Blue Jays and the Wildcats, home of Jack's Pizza and Stadium Park....It's a place where not quite EVERYBODY knows your name, but most everyone has at least heard of you once or twice....and someone somewhere knows who your parents are, and what street you grew up on.

Today I discovered some startling news. Perverse, twisted, just completley messed up news...involving my own family.

I'm a firm believer that every family has an "Uncle Eddie" like Clark Griswald does on the Lampoon movies....we all have some relative that you wonder if you'll see on the Jerry Springer show someday.

Well, as if having a psycho dad with one arm isn't crazy enough, I found out tonight that my cousin....we'll call him "Jack"....married "Diane" who has a baby with "Aric" who's Jack's Brother.

Now I've always kind of liked Diane, sure, she comes from a really, really messed up family, an atroucious homelife, more scars than any of us could begin to count...however, I don't wholeheartedly believe that we are complete victims of our circumstances. I give you that kids grow up and do as they see, but we live in a world that's public enough that no matter what we SEE growing up, the rest of the world is right there, on our televisions, in our schools, etc. that show us that maybe our life, the one we've expereinced isn't the "norm"....that maybe, maybe we come from a fucked up situation, that our mom's were whores, or our dad's were abusive pricks, that drugs are bad, sex with your mom's boyfriend isn't the right thing to do....and that there's more to life than what our fucked up parents might have to offer us in the lessons they teach us.

So, while I sympathize with Diane for her wrongful upbringing, my pity for her circumstances has since expired when she left Aric and started screwing his brother Jack. She's divided the family, Aric & Diane's little boy now has to try and decipher if his dad is his uncle or is his uncle his dad...and just last week, our dearly homewrecking Diane was down at Aric's house telling them that she was in love with both of them. BOTH OF THEM!!!!!!!!

What in the name of moses is wrong with these people? What dysfunctional gene did we inherit that makes THIS seem normal, healthy or rewarding in terms of relationships?

So many times I've watched Jerry Springer and thought to myself, "now this is just stupid"...."nobody actually says these things, or does these things!!"

But now I'm like....oh in the name of all that is holy....it's not just on the television anymore, it's everywhere. It's in my cell phone when I get a call about what fucked up thing Diane has went and done now....it's in my conversations with my family during the course of normal conversation....it's seeping into daily life. How long before this isn't shocking anymore? Will someone I know start fucking their brother or sister soon, and maybe that too will be morally acceptable before we know it?

It seems that we are limitless these days, there are no boundaries whatsoever, you want to have orgies in the church parking lot....by all means, be my guest, you want to fuck your brothers fiance....sure, why not?! You want to tie yourself to a cross, and light yourself on fire....I'll get the marshmallows and we'll make some gosh darn smores...mmmmmmm.....

In the 50's, Elivis shook his pelvis and old women were a'gasp, today, he's old fashioned squeeky clean family fun....oh, they say we've come so far, but how far have we really come?

Welcome Back!

Well hello there!

Good to see you all again. You are looking good....it's been forever it seems since I've seen you.

Thanks for sticking around through the transition of the crappy changing of address....

So grab a drink, pull up your chair and welcome back.

There are a couple new posts below....as I kept blogging while the site was down. Hope you all had a happy and safe 4th of July!

All my love,

~hl~

Movie Review 4/5/08

Greetings from Cinema 12....

So today I went to see the new Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman, James McAvoy Movie. It was pretty good.

I went with my movie-going friend Jason, the one who's yard I mowed...and since he kinda owed me...he bought, which made the movie even better! *laughs*

The movie is loosely based on the comic book "Wanted" by Mark Millar...and Entertainment Weekly gave it a "B" grading.

Anyway, the movie is pretty kick ass, it's Angelina Jolie being all hot, dark and sexy, while kicking the shit outta everyone and shooting anyone left standing...you know, typical action heroine. James McAvoy....also put in a good performance...but then again, I'm partial to him because he's just effing adorable....yeah, he'd hate to hear that I think he's "adorable"...as opposed to "sexy", "hot", "drool worthy"....but seriously, you take one look in his baby blue eyes and you are hooked...and well, adorable he is, I can't help it.

Morgan Freeman as many of you know is one of my most all time favorite actors, a character that gets my box office dollar more times than not....and while his part was not a large one, it was well played nonetheless.

Now if you are going for "the story"....uh, well, it's a pretty good one, but mostly, there are two reasons to see this movie...#1 - (and this is for the guys) you get to see Angelina Jolie's bare bottom, aka "ass shot"....and #2 - It's pretty kickass. Lots of guns blazing, high action, fight scenes that make you smile at their awesomeness....I don't know, maybe most chicks wouldn't like it, but I really did.

Favorite scenes...and you'll know em when you see them....

"keyboard scene"

"giving the boss the business scene"

"The shooting people THROUGH a guys skull scene"

"The car chase scene"

and last but not least,

"the dead corpses hanging on meat hooks scene"

So, ladies, there's your choices....Anglina's naked butt, or corpses on meat hooks.....you decide. I on the other hand, I kinda liked it.

Guys on the other hand, you'll like it. I mean, c'mon, it's Angelina's ass....you can't much go wrong with that now can you?

.....and no, this doesn't make me a lesbian for saying that....the girls got a nice ass, and like Jame's baby blue eyes...I just call em' like I see em'.

I'M A MOMMY

Yes, that's right, I'm a mommy again.

At thirty, I thought it was time to finally get into a relationship that suits me....find me a man who I can cuddle on the couch with, one that will go for walks with me, let me control the remote control.....he'll listen to me when I've had a bad day, give me kisses when I get home from work....all I have to do is, love him back, feed and bathe him, give him a place to call home and for a nominal fee from my local animal shelter, he's all mine.

As of today my adoption application has been approved. Ashley called me and gave me the good news this afternoon and now I just have to wait a couple days and my new little man, all of 11 months old will be coming to stay....

I can't wait, I'm so happy about this. He needs a home, and I need someone to call my own....everybody wins.

When I was a kid..........

I used to get into trouble a lot. Either Ang and I didn't do a good enough job doing the dishes, or I didn't follow the explicit orders as were given to me by my father....anyway, I remember how enraged he would become at me. Eyes bulging, veins enlarged....MAD!

This weekend while working on the pony ring, I had a "abusive father" flashback.

Saturday night I was working for my Aunt doing Pony rides at a local fair. After a long night of pony wrangling, we went to put the little furry creatures up for the night, and therein the madness began. See my Aunt is working with a guy who's the "pony guy"...aka, the guy who holds the contracts with the fairs that she is buying him out of. See the "pony guy" is getting out of the business, and my Aunt is getting in, so it's a good deal for everyone....everyone but me on this particular night.

So there we were, me and my co-worker Tanner taking the ponies back to the trailer....and that's where we ran into the "Pony guy's" grandson. Who let me just say now is the biggest prick under 30 this side of the Mississippi. No, wait, I take that back, possibly the biggest prick under 30 in the ENTIRE WORLD!!

This kid is the rudest, inconsiderate jerk ever to wear a pair of cowboy boots and over sized belt buckle!

No sooner did Tanner and I begin tying the ponies up, this jerk comes marching up outta the dark and yells at us that we can't tie them there, and that we have to move them due to the impending fireworks show about to begin. Me, wanting to get done and get home, I grabbed a pony and started moving them where they needed to go. I'm a good little employee, I try and do what I'm supposed to. Well, after the first set of ponies were taken over across the way, we returned and Tanner and I stood waiting to be told what ponies to take next...as 1/2 the ponies were staying, and 1/2 of them were getting loaded up and taken back to the farm.

It was only a minute before prick Jr. was throwing his hands in the air, looking irate at Tanner and I and saying...."Are you just going to stand there? There are MORE ponies to get!!" Tanner and I jump to action and get more ponies...as we go to get them, prick Jr. starts yelling about someone not tying a pony up right....a feat that neither Tanner nor I had anything to do with. More yelling ensues, he says that he's now going to have to check every knot we've made or we'll have ponies running all over the fair grounds because we OBVIOUSLY don't know how to tie a knot!

I'm thinking to myself....look here motherfucker, I've been working with horses since I've been old enough to freaking walk, longer than your stupid ass has been ALIVE! That's what I WANTED to blurt out, however, I bit my lip and said nothing, just grabbed a pony and took off again. As I tied up my pony, jerkface went and checked all the ponies to make sure us lazy good-for-nothing employees in fact could tie a knot.

Anyway, long story short, the verbal lashings didn't stop there, after all of that, i got to hear about how the saddles were put away wrong, nothing was put in the right place,....and I was pushed past the point of rational thinking. But I kept my head down, I did the feeding, I moved the ponies, and I kept my mouth shut...something that my red head finds excruciating to do, but I did.

But all of this made me feel like a kid again, working with my Dad. My dad had a way of making you feel like you were the most incompetent worthless piece of flesh. Even if you did it right, it was still wrong, because it's not how HE would of done it....he was highly critical, and a perfectionist....and if you didn't live up to his standards, he'd either beat you, or yell at you and make you feel worthless. I'm not sure which was worse frankly, the beatings or verbal blows...both accomplished his goals, to make you feel as little and insignificant as earthly possible.

When I moved away from home at eighteen, I remember thinking to myself...he's never going to hit me again. He's no longer in control of me. It is a milestone in a young girl's life moving away from home that first time, but moving away from an abusive home is even bigger.

Sunday night, the day after I was degraded by that asshat at the fair, I was on my way home from working, coming up to a stop sign at the end of German Road and here comes my old man, flying around the corner, cuts into my lane and nearly hits me head on. I slam on my breaks, tires screetch to a halt and I throw my hands into the air as if to say, "wtf" and we are locked in a glare...until he wheels outta my lane and goes scooting away from me as quickly as he nearly took out the front of my neon.

I thought to myself, huh...that's ironic, I always said my dad was never going to "hit me" again....and well, here we are 12 years later and he damn near did it...

Guess it just goes to show that the world is full of assholes, and we can try and steer clear of them, but every once in a while, you can't avoid it and one crashes right into you....

We can't control every situation, and we can't control things that are uncontrollable, so why try?!

Assholes are assholes, always have been, always will be.....we just have to make sure that after one crashes into us, that we let it go, and not dwell on it, otherwise we'll wind up just as shitty as they are.