For Every Day We Live, We Die.

Helen M. Rager

She was born on a cold January Day in 1921, she died on March 6, 2002. She was my Great Aunt. My aunt Helen never married, she never had any children. Instead she devoted over forty years of her life working for the family of Dr. James Jarvis.

So many times my mom would load us kids up in the car to Drive to Van Wert to see her and to bring her the coupons we’d been collecting for her, as she was an avid penny pincher. She lived in a tiny little house surrounded by her collection of glass oil lamps.

I remember I used to love visiting her partly because it was like a museum there. All the tiny little lamps, carefully arranged and amazingly preserved. She must have had like a hundred of them, maybe more…..they were her life’s work of art displayed in the front window of her house for all the neighborhood to see.

I liked my Aunt Helen….she was old for as long as I can remember her in my life, but she was always kind and happy to see us. I wonder if she’d smile that big toothy smile if I were standing at her gravesite inside the Mt. Pleasant Cemetery.

When she died I was given three items that were hers.

#1 – A tiny delicate lamp from her collection…….

#2 – A necklace made of some kind of stone or mineral with a Cardinal on it

#3 – One photograph of her, smiling her big Rager smile. (above)

I have only three items of what is left of her 81-year life here on Earth. It is sad how all of your belongings just scatter in the wind when you die. People come in and out of your house until there’s just nothing left, it’s as if little by little your life’s imprint is erased. Pretty soon, there’s a “For Sale” sign in the yard and you house sits empty. Sure, what do you care…you are dead right?!

I worry that when I die, I’ll be that "crazy book lady"…and they’ll have some auction to get rid of them all, and my books will be thrown out like all of my other most treasured belongings. I don’t care what happens to most of my things, but my books….I worry no one will love them as much as I….I worry that the poems written by the amazing Longfellow, Poe, Dickinson, Shakespeare, and the like will never again see the light of day because no one will open the page……. So many of my books are from the 1800’s and early 1900’s….and they’ve survived the test of time to this point, so…..let it be known, that should I die tomorrow, Please someone, anyone, make sure my books find good homes, where they will be loved, read, and treasured as I have loved, read and treasured them in my life.

{It’s posts like this that will MOST CERTAINLY grant me the title “Crazy Book Lady”}

{I do know that no one should love their belongings this much, but it’s not about belongings, it’s not about how much they cost, or the feeling of ownership…..it’s what they contain, the stories they tell, the knowledge they bestow, the history of all who had held that book in their hands before you or I were even born. They are more than “just books” to me. If that makes me “crazy”…..so be it.}

The Best 80 Cents I Spent This Year!

I love when you find treasures that people are damn near giving away.

Today I stopped at a friend's garage sale and bought the books pictured here.....

they are truly amazing finds and yet its like no one even knew they were there.....

I thumbed through them nervously as each one sold their stories to me....

I carried them out to my car oh so carefully.....

They tallied my bill to a total of 80 cents

I paid a dollar, said keep the change and back down the driveway I went

Each little book finding it's place of rest within my book filled home.....

No more Garages or dirty floors in which for them to roam.....

Now they are safe and sound right were they belong

Each one of them different from the other, but not one of them the slightest bit wrong....

{sorry....my new books have me thinking in rhymes.....AGAIN!!}

From Beautiful Birds....to beautiful words.....

Tis the Last Rose of Summer

Tis the last rose of summer
left blooming alone;
All her lovely companions
Are faded and gone;
No flower of her kindred,
No rose-bud is nigh,
To reflect back her blushes
Or give sigh for sigh.

I'll not leave thee, thou lone one!
To Pine on the stem;
Since the lovely are sleeping,
Go, sleep thou with them.
Thus kindly I scatter
Thy leaves o'er the bed,
Where thy mates of the garden
Lie scentless and dead.

So soon may I follow,
When friendships decay,
And from Love's shinging circle
The gems drop away.
When true hearts lie withered,
And fond ones are flown,
Oh! who would inhabit
This bleak world alone?

Thomas Moore (1779-1852)

Agelaius phoeniceus

This morning, I awoke early to go running. Not walking....running! Okay, well when I got winded I did take a short walk break, but geeze, give me a break, I'm a begginner. Before I even got out of bed though, I saw something out of the ordinary. There was a Agelaius phoeniceus (aka Red Winged Blackbird) sitting on the tree branch that is right outside my window. He appeared to be looking at me inquisitively, as I peared at him from under my down comforter and blue pinstriped sheets. We had a moment I guess you could say......When I went downstairs he still sat there perched in the sunlight.

As I walked out the door and onto the porch, he was just overhead. I walked through the trees and to the road, glancing back at the beautiful bird only to notice he flew to a tree closer to me. I began running, the cold air was hitting me in the face forcing my eyes wide open and a little teary. That's when I heard the most hypnotic chirp/song escaping from the Agelaius phoeniceus' gullet. I kept running. Before long, there he was, flying along side of me, and then resting on a power line just ahead. With each passing of his point of reference, he'd fly on up ahead never taking his small but watchful eyes off of me. All the while singing and belting out his song. It was the strangest thing the way he wouldn't leave me. Being as I'm the type of person who sees signs in everything out of the ordinary, this felt like something that should "mean" something, what I don't know, but something.

He followed me all the way to the river. I watched the school of "red sucker" fish that were swimming in the current just below the bridge. Each year at this time they swim to the same spot in the river to spawn and I like to go and watch them in the mornings. When I looked up from the fish, my bird was gone. He flew away and I didn't even see him go. He followed me for over a half of a mile and then vanished.

The journey back to the house was a little lonely. Besides the pounding of my feet on the pavement, it was a little too quiet. See I only had this wonderful creature by my side for a moment or two, his song only graced my ears for a matter of minutes, yet something so beautiful, something so extraordinary is easily missed when taken away. Regardless of how long we have something, some things are just hard to lose....even when you never "REALLY" had them to begin with. I guess that's the meaning, enjoy company when you have it, for you never know when they are singing you their last song. Sure other birds will come and go, you'll see them flitting about your yard, they'll chirp and sing their bird songs, but this one bird in particular, with all of it's mystery and glory may come along just once in a lifetime.

UPS

What is it about UPS delivery guys? Is it a prerequisite to be hilarious and ornery?

That's one of the things I really miss from my Technicon days....seeing my old pal Doug the UPS guy. You know it's really funny how just a minute or two conversation with someone everyday could be missed, but I do, I miss it. It was nice that he stopped in my office today to say hi to me.

I think if we knew each other in "real" life...I think we'd have been very good friends. Some people, you just know.

Oh, and UPS guys in my experience are way more personable than any other delivery service out there...Sorry Fed Ex! My vote goes to UPS this time!! :)

Angels Among Us:

Ever wonder what an angel looks like in real life?

They aren't always who you might think.

See people, depending on their belief's see significance in people in many forms. If you are religious, you see angels, if you are romantic, you see soul mates, if you are scientific you see chemistry....regardless of who you are and how you see it, it's undeniable that there are people who grace us within our lifetimes who leave us changed forever.

Whether they give us love, passion, support, strength, understanding, sympathy, guidance or vision, they come, and the fill that void that we always felt, yet couldn't define.

The Angel you see here....is Ed. After a lifetime battle with Depression, having a spouse who never fully understood it's overwhelming effects, and then enduring every painful day of watching her husband succumb to the effects of of Alzheimer's and then death...my Grandmother Irene was blessed with this man. He holds her hand, and smiles at her touch, he loves her cooking and snuggles with her and her poodles without the slightest hint of complaint.....I have no doubt that Ed was always just a moment away from her life. Whether God sent him to her, whether the universe and the stars were aligned perfectly, or whether it was good old fashioned chemistry and timing...whatever the reason.....I am in awe of it's power to heal old wounds.

Springtime Sightseeing

Since it was so lovely, I couldn't help bring my camera with me walking today. I wanted to be able to share with you the beauty that I am so fortunate to be only a walk down the road away from.....




Funny how you can see the cycle of life, the leaves are just coming on and the shoots pushing through the soil, but on the other hand, you see trees that didn't survive the latest storm....you see where lightning has crashed, and water has eroded away parts of the river bank.....for every ending, there is a new beginning in the works.



The sun was so warm on my face....the smell of the water and budding trees was everywhere. The sound of water crashing continuously over the German Dam....I wanted so badly to have someone there to share it with, but my dog Gauge, well he was as excited as dogs get to be there with me.....and I can't complain about that! 

Today.......

Today was one of those fluffy cloud beautiful warm breezy days.

Sunshine, 70+ degrees, winds 5-10 mph and wild flowers in bloom around every corner.

I'm very thankful that I was able to get out there and enjoy it.

To me, there really is no better way to erase a crappy work week than getting out and letting the sunshine in.

Delphos Sites

If something ever took me away from Delphos, one of the thing I'd miss is Jack's Pizza.

Now I know the place doesn't look like the most top of the line establishment, but really, there's no other pizza that I've found that comes close......and believe me, I've looked! :)

Those of you who have left Delphos, you know what I'm talking about....

I remember when I lived alone in my 5th Street Apartment, Jacks was the only place in town that delivered....and well at that time in my life....I wasn't doing much cooking, so those lazy days when you just were starving and the only thing you had in your refrigerator was a Diet Sunkist and a half gallon of milk with an expiration date of two weeks ago, well....Jacks is your best option. As soon as you heard that junky car rambling down your alley, muffler most likely ripped off flying over a set of railroad tracks, you knew that cheezy goodness was only moments away.........

So, if you are ever in Delphos, you can't, you just shouldn't leave without having a slice for yourself.....you won't be disappointed.

{Oh ~ You should know this is not a paid advertisement, this is of my true account and given through my own free will. Also, no animals were harmed in it's making. This blog is a limited time offer and all of it's content is protected by the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. Any comments or questions will be addressed in the order they are received and can be terminated at the express consent of the Blog Owner.}

I'm dumb, I know......... :)

 

Occupational Hazards of the Legal Variety:

One of the worst things about my job is the fact that our clients have problems. They have gotten themselves into situations they cannot reverse and they need help to solve them.

It makes for a tough day when you see a couple come in who are about to dissolve their marriage of 20 years because their love has simply died; or when a mother comes in with her child who's about to be sentenced to a lengthy jail term; or a Parent who doesn't know where their child is.......so many people all with one thing in common, thier ability to have hope is slowly dying bit, by bit, by bit. Hopelessness is something I never had to see in the eyes of the people who surround me. No other job I have had, has challenged my ability in this way.

When somone looks you in the eye with that look, the look of complete and utter despair, it chills you in ways that nothing else does......you can feel any smile you might have had on your face, slowly fading away, and then disappearing into the air around you, only to be replaced with a feeling of sadness creeping in through your pores, until you are saturated with their grief.

One lesson I see being repeatedly shown to me, is that life is too damn short, you've got to make the most of it, for with a blink of an eye, life as you know it could be changed forever.....sometimes you just never see it coming.

Work or Jail?? Jail or Work??

Today as I sit at my desk, I look out the window through the open blinds and discovered that on days like today....blinds are horizontal window bars. If you turn your head just so, you can actually feel as though you are enprisoned by them.

Warm weather is the anti-work-ethic!

Mystery Man....Mystery No More!

Mystery Solved!!!!

It turns out, my mystery man IS someone I know, someone I went to High School with, someone to whom I'm more than happy to welcome to my site.

Never would have guessed in a million years that Count Chocula was Cory C.

I'll sleep better tonight now that I know....Two nights ago while playing tennis I wasn't sure if a Cartoon Character from a cereal box was going to jump out of the bushes at any given moment.....*big sigh of relief*

Bulletin:

WANTED: Identity of one "Count Chocula" Blogger.

I will offer a CASH reward for any information which ultimately leads me to the identity of this mysterious "Random Thoughts of A Restless Mind" participant.

So for those of you who love a good mystery, start digging, get me the goods and there'll be a little something in if for you in the end.

What are you waiting for?....Get moving! :)

Myths on the Brain:

MYTH: Humans use only 10% or less of their brain: Even though some mysteries of brain function persist, every part of the brain has a known function.

This misconception most likely arose from a misunderstanding (or misrepresentation in an advertisement) of neurological research in the late 1800s or early 1900s when researchers discovered that only about 10% of the neurons in the brain are firing at any given time.

If all of your neurons began firing at once you would not become smarter, but would instead suffer a seizure. In fact, studies have shown that the brains of more intelligent people are less active than the brains of less intelligent people when working on the same problems.

Some psychics continue to propagate this myth by asserting that the "unused" ninety percent of the human brain is capable of exhibiting psychic powers and can be trained to perform psychokinesis and extra-sensory perception.

A less literal interpretation of the statement is valid. It can be reasonably claimed that most people only use a very small fraction of the cognitive potential of their brain, even though all individual brain neurons are busily working.

Various cultural inventions enable humans to better utilize their cognitive potential, such as reading, education, problem solving, critical thinking, etc.

I never realized how much is left unknown about the human brain. I makes me hopeful to think that there are discoveries yet to be made that might unlock some of the mysteries involving the human brain. I mean think about it, what a complex idea the brain is. Neurons firing, fluid protecting, heat producing, central controller....the brain is worthy of our study.

Now I know there is no proof to support it, BUT, I do wonder about the mystical abilities of the human brain. What is it that allows some people to have visions? Where does psychic power derive from? Is it possible, that we all have the tools needed to perform these functions, but we just have yet to discover our own abilities? Animals have been long suspected to be able to communicate without the use of normal visual and audible means, how interesting is that!? I guess if I could have my choice between being able to see into the future, OR to be able to communicate without saying a word, to someone across the room, or someone across the world, I'd choose the latter. I wish I could sit here at my desk at this very moment, and by simply thinking of a person, It would open a window of communication like none other ever imagined. Completely undefined and unexplainable, but possible through the power held within our own mind. There are so many unexplained occurrences throughout history and even happening today, all around us, so who's to say that when I think of someone with complete dedication, that deep down, on some unconscious level, they don't feel me doing so. Perhaps we all have messages just waiting for us to open our minds up to receive. I don't know that there aren't, and that give me a wonderful sense of hope.

It's Monday...Again!

Ever feel that you are re-living the same day over and over again, only with slightly different results at the end of each and every do-over day?

I feel like that today, that nothing I could do today, would alter the course of my ultimate outcome. I'm not depressed mind you, but perhaps one might say that I quite possibly am suffering from boredom.

I'm Getting Old....It's Official! - REVISED/UPDATED

I’m totally getting old…..My latest addiction is the News. Yesterday, I actually rushed home to watch the Abrams Report. Me, watching MSNBC religiously…can you believe this is happening to me? Two days ago, someone told me that I’m a political person….and I found myself a little shocked at that remark, last week I found myself getting fitted for a support bra and now I’m an avid news watcher….?? What’s to become of me? I’m just going to say this right now….if I find a grey hair this week, I’m going to lose it.

I must confess though, that the Abrams Report is really worth tuning in for. The show is mainly about stories of justice and legal issues which I’m totally obsessed with. Plus, Mr. Abrams comes off as smart, direct and he throws a little bit of sarcasm in there as well which I find to be needed in a show like his. He’s one of those reporters who say what everyone back home is thinking, which makes him endearing to average folks like myself. One thing about the Abrams report that I really appreciate is his ability to shut someone down. Not put them down, not make them feel foolish, but really be direct in a way that they can't hardly control the conversation. You know how when you watch so many of these news programs there's always a panel of "experts" or "consultants" that are all going back and forth on an issue, in every panel and every crowd, there's always that "one person" who is so passionate on their point that they began to sound ignorant instead of educational / informative. Well in situations when people like them start going off in that course of conversation, he just takes their soapbox away and moves on to the next expert or person. It's refreshing when all sides are allowed their fair share of the program. I hate one sided debates, don't you? Anyway....It's obvious that Mr. Abrams is a natural and objective leader in news media today, I guess that's what makes his show wildly popular at my house. Keith, just says, Not this guy again!! I'll get him on board sooner or later. For the rest of you, tune in, he’s on from 6-7:00 M-F on MSNBC. Tomorrow he's doing his show live from Duke University on the Duke Lacross Rape Story. Should be interesting to say the least.

So to wrap this up, I suppose sooner or later we all succumb to the wonderful world of Adulthood where we start to care about politics, the economy and national policy…..This all making me more and more aware that I’m almost thirty; the ripe, old responsible age of 30. :)

Stephanie says that I’m officially only a year or two from being an avid Delphos Herald reader….coupon clipping, orthopedic shoe wearer……God help me if she's right!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036652/ (for more Information.....)

PS - Final Note on the Subject........yesterday I put a "Vote for Judge Vernon Preston for the Court of Appeals" sign in my yard, it's not a grey hair, but it's a step in that direction. ;)

Symbol of Hope OR Torture Device?

You know what's worse than knowing that someone doesn't love you.....not knowing if they do.

Tonight, I took another long hike along the river with Gauge. Had to trespass a little to get to where I was going, but no harm was done.

When I was growing up, the outdoors were our playground as kids. My sisters and I would explore our vast surroundings which included the "horse trails" that went for what seemed like a million miles along the Auglaize river. Where I live now, is just a mile down the road from where I grew up, so all of these places are still there, and still accessible to me for the exploring. There is the old railroad bridge and tracks, the endless trails through fields and woods. There's the countless bends and curves of the river......in my mind, it's the paradise of my world.

Last fall, before the weather got cold and stayed cold, my sister and I went for a long walk for the purpose of picture taking while the fall colors were so vivid and striking. She kept me company while I snapped as many shots as I had film. It's a great way to spend some quality time with her and to feel like kids again, running the paths just as we did so many years ago. Anyway, the point to my story is, when we got to where the old Railroad Bridge used to be, we stopped and took some time to admire the old block walls which served as the foundation to the bridge. Brooke picked up a rock, and began to carve her name into the wall. I followed suit. It was kind of cute seeing our names up on that wall again, as I'm sure we probably did so many times before, after all you know how kids are, they have to carve their name in any surface they can like.....barn walls, dirt, gravel, sand.........their trapperkeeper....

Anyway.....tonight, as I was walking by those same foundations, I looked to see if our names had survived the most recent Ohio winter, only to find that they did, they were faded, but still recognizable. What surprised me even more than their presence was the addition of a third name on the wall.

"Lance"

Funny how one word can send your night into a storm of mixed feelings. I wondered if I should see his act of carving it there as symbolic? Hopeful? Coincidence?

For those of you who may not be aware of this....Lance is my brother. When my parents got divorced awhile back, my father told my brother he had to chose sides, his mother (and in essence his sisters) or him. Now to you outside the hell that has been my family over the last few years, you are unaware of the fact that my father is the equivalent of a David Koresh or a Jim Jones. If there were a Hail Bop comet in our future, he'd convince you to kill yourself in it's presence. You know how I said that I'm good at talking people into things, well I like to think I have a gift of using common sense, reason and/or logic to show people another side to the equation. Given the same situation, my father will take the equation, throw it out the window when you aren't looking and then convince you that the equation never existed in the first place. He's a master of deception and manipulation. I've never seen anything like it in my life and I'd be surprised to find anyone who can top his ability at his craft. He's so good, he could convince a blind man into seeing....but only what he wanted him to see. So anyway.....the point of the story is, my Brother no longer has anything to do with Angie, Brooke or myself. He's lived a bedroom away my whole life, and now lives just down the street from me, yet he is completely absent from my life. It's one of the hardest things I've had to deal with in recent years. It's worse than death, for when someone dies, they can't help leaving you...but voluntary absence...knowing my own brother is so close, yet a million miles away from me.....it breaks my heart.

Seeing his name tonight, I want to believe it's a sign that someday there's hope that he'll come around and we'll pick up where we left off.......but like our names carved into rock, how many winters can they really survive, before they are washed away forever?

Warning......Physical Activity At An All-Time High

Before I wind up looking like this......>>>>>>

I think I'll take tomorrow off from tennis! :)

Right now, both of my feet are throbbing. I'm very aware of both my shoulder and my big toe on my right foot. My ribs hurt even more than earlier today thanks to four more games of tennis tonight, this time taking on both my mother and Linda at the same time....lets just say, I had my work cut out for me!

Springtime is Officially Here!

Today when I woke up, I said to myself: "Ouch, it hurts to move!" as I rolled out of bed.

A three mile hike with Gauge, a half an hour of throwing a stick into the river for him to swim out and fetch, two games of tennis with Linda (my toughest and funniest competitor) and my body is feeling it's remaining effects. It's crazy that you can go the gym and work out 3-4 times a week and still be sore just with some simple hiking and tennis, but I'm telling you right now my one rib cage is aching and my butt cheek on the left side hurts with every move I make. It's a pleasurable kind of pain though, if you have to hurt, I'd much rather it be my ass and ribs that ache as apposed to my heart. The rest of me is better equipped to deal with pain.

In closing, don't you just love that first REAL blast of consistently warm weather when you try to do everything you have wanted to do all winter long in one, maybe two days?!? I think I'll overdo it again tonight after work just to see how much physical abuse my old body can still handle! There's a fine line between pleasure and pain isn't there?

Pretty Places I've Seen - Part #2

 

Some Pretty Places I've Seen......Part #1

 
 
 
  

What A Big Girl You Are....Phoenix

Only a few short months ago, she was just a little black furball who curled up on my lap, now look at her...she's getting to be such a pretty girl.




 

Fast Forward 20 years......YIKES!!!!!!!!

First comes the news watching, then the newspaper reading, then comes the bifocals, getting enough fiber in my diet, orthopedic shoes, followed by a string of pearls hanging from the sides of my eyewear.....

Is this what my future looks like?

Hey, atleast my hair will still be red and my Clothes are matching!! :)

Small talk = Bra talk:

This story is a bit embarrassing, so feel mighty special that I’m feeling open enough to share it……

If you know me in real life, you know that I’ve inherited rather large breasts from my Grandma’s on both sides of my family. Some say I’m blessed, however anyone who has had to lug these things around will tell you: “THEY SUCK!”

So recently after talking to some other well endowed ladies, I decided I would get fitted professionally for a bra. See I wasn’t aware that there were people out there who actually hook a girl up with bras that fit her the best, but apparently there are. Here my entire life I’ve just been wondering aimlessly around store after store never really knowing my actual size. See I was under the impression that bras were like shoe sizes, you found a bra that fit and that’s what size you were….I’m a size 9 shoe, and you present me with any size nine shoe from New York to Los Angeles and no matter what style it is, it fits. I’m a perfect size nine shoe I guess you could say.

Anyway, Friday I went to a store who’s name I’m intentionally omitting for privacy purposes. I went to the counter, waited my turn and when it was my turn, I was greeted by the sweetest little old lady you can imagine. She had white hair, a green silk grandma-ish blouse, a pendant, wool skirt and glasses. She was truly someone a movie producer dreams about when casting a perfect grandma figure. She was greater than even I could have imagined. She even did that grandma thing of calling you sweetheart at the end of every sentence she addressed to you. By looking at her, I’d have never guessed what happened next.

We walked around the store, picking a bra here, and another one there, some black, some white, some with thick comfort straps, some made of cotton, some satin, others made of lace. Finally we made it to a dressing room where she sent me in to start trying them on while she scoured the store for more options to try on. I took off my shirt, unhooked my bra and began to try on the first bra candidate when here came perfect little granny waltzing through the door. I was shocked and immediately put my hands over myself to cover my very exposed upper body. She didn’t seem at all out of sorts, she picked up the bra, and held on to one strap while handing me the other to bring around the front and to my other arm. I think I was probably blushing while trying to keep my nipples covered while still using my free hand to put the bra on very clumsily…I felt a little like I was in the twilight zone. Bra Granny continued to just go about her bra business while telling me about proper bra fitting. Apparently keeping your breasts covered one hundred percent is the only way to keep control of them. You can’t have any skin showing under your armpit or your cup size is too small, you need to have everything perfectly preserved under the lace and satin. I tell you, super granny wasn't at all concerned with whether my new bra would be the least bit desirable from a man's perspective! I guess that's one of my faults, I always want to dress in a way that on any given day, should my clothes come off, I'm wearing something desirable. Some people worry about being hit by a bus and not be wearing clean underwear and I worry about being hit by a bus wearing granny panties!

So...Back to the dressing room. After some ground rules to standard bra sizing were given, Granny began to bark out her commands…. “Sweetheart, you are going to need to pull your breasts up, they should be up higher!” “Yeah that’s right, really pull them up there!” Literally….If I pulled my boob up an inch higher I could have thrown them over my shoulder and wore them for backpacks! I’m not even kidding!!!!! Again, again and again, “Reach in there Sweetheart and pull your breasts up higher, pull them from the side to the front!” “Bend over if you need to!” Which I’m still not sure what bending over helps…am I using gravity to work for me in my struggle?!?

I should stop here, but I have to tell you the rest…..My sister Brooke finally made her way to where I was when she finished her other shopping and came into the dressing room too. Now I’m the only one partially naked in the 4 x 4 room, growing more and more anxious to get the hell out of there with each minute that passed. I’ve now given up the modesty act and have begun to just let my boobs hang out uninhibited…I mean, my dignity was pretty much nonexistent at this point anyway, might as well free up both my hands and hurry the process along right!?! The funniest thing happened then….I thought I heard something….it sounded like someone farted…..I knew it wasn’t me, and nobody else said anything, so I just assumed that it was the bench seat squeaking or something, come to find out later that Bra-Nazi-Granny-Sweetheart-lady had a slight flatulence problem. Poor Brooke was sitting nose-to-ass level with Granny’s rear end and had nowhere to go. At least my bra experience didn’t just wear on my sense of self alone, Brooke suffered through it with me….she took one for the team you know! And that my friends is why a girl must love her sisters….nobody takes a fart to the face in the name of love like they do!

Moral of the story….Go to Victoria’s Secret, they have young girls working there….they may have better control of their bodily functions and I don’t think they come in the dressing room with you!!! Good Luck, Keep em' High and Supported, and Good Night!

Pride & Prejudice

Last night I was restless, ever get like that, you are tired, yet your brain won’t allow your body the sleep it needs?

I decided since I wasn’t ready to go to bed yet, and everyone else had already turned in for the night, I would watch Pride & Prejudice. I had tried to watch it a week ago and found it hard to watch because of the thick heavy English accent and the speed by which they spoke, so last night, I decided I’d give it another go.

I put in the DVD, it was midnight or so when I started to watch. Ten minutes in, I found myself turning on the subtitles so that way I wouldn’t miss a single word they spoke; it was really quite helpful I have to tell you!

The story of Miss Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy is truly novel worthy isn’t it?! The scenery in this movie is just as breathtaking and it was nice to see they didn’t try to take away from the story by making it a blockbuster/over-the-top production. The filming, the lighting, everything was really quite beautiful, even had I not turned on the subtitles and had no idea what any of them were saying I would have still enjoyed it immensely.

I wonder if Romance like this still exists today? Romance, it’s a lovely idea, one which might do us all some good….and not just on anniversary’s and valentines day. Is there such a thing as everyday romance? When was the last time someone wrote you a poem, sang or wrote a song about you? Went to great lengths to make you smile on your worst day? Maybe like bell bottoms and leg warmers, romance will make a comeback someday……maybe……just maybe.

This movie probably wouldn’t please everyone, but if you appreciate a good love story, this will satisfy you for an evening anyway! If movies (or reading subtitles to make out English accents)aren’t your forte, by all means, read the book, you won’t be disappointed!

It’s such a rainy dreary day today, perhaps I’ll pop it back in and enjoy it all over again, just me and Phoenix, curled up in the chaise lounge…..avoiding the lightning crashes and thunder rumbling just outside my window……avoiding all darkness all together will be my attempt for the rest of the evening. I hope you all are safe wherever you are........whoever you are.

Damien Rice.....Oh how I adore him musically.

Damien Rice

(Austin City Limits Performance)

So yesterday I was flipping the channels looking aimlessly for something to watch....when I heard that familiar voice that I love so well....it was a Austin City Limits Concert of Damien Rice (Irish/Alternative/folk Singer). Now before you turn your nose up at the idea of what you might think folk singing is like, just open up your media player, and go and listen to a sample or two....he's just so moving in his performances. He is reserved and composed, just sitting on a stool, playing his guitar, singing his beautiful lyrics....I had never been so happy to be watching PBS in all of my life! :) I had only ever actually seen him in the music video for "Blower's Daughter" and he was intriguing even then, now even more so. I was excited to find out that he will be touring in the U.S. soon, perhaps I will be fortunate enough to score some tickets to see him live! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed in the meantime.

Isn't it strange how certain artists, especially musicians have a way of just reaching the depths of your soul? With a simple song: Lyrics, melody, instrumental etc. and you feel connected, touched by a little piece of music, or the person who wrote it. For me, today, those people are Damien of course, James Blunt, Tracy Chapman and Dido. Sometimes when listening to music I wonder, If my life were a movie, what songs would make up the soundtrack of my life? What songs would define you I wonder?