Why I love my Mother:

So, I want to share two stories with you about my mum. Ironically, my mother and I never saw eye to eye on anything until after I moved out of the house and we got enough distance between each other to actually begin to appreciate our differences....but now, after 31 years, I fear my mother knows me too well....

take scenario #1 for instance:

So I'm in Wisconsin last week with my Mother, my Sister Brooke, up visiting my Sister Angie and her family (Husband Matt, Son Lane and Daughter Emma)...so we are having a great trip, we, as a family, went to Angie's church on Sunday. It's a nice service, a Memorial day themed one. At the end of the service, we all stand in a reception style line to say good day to the pastor. A good man he is. Divorced, handsome, big guy, looks like a retired football player...

Anyway, so my sister Brooke starts saying "Heather, I think you should date the pastor!" I'm like, "Are you freakin nuts?" And she says, "WHY NOT!?!?!?" So I explain to her the high points of my argument:

1. "I live in Ohio. He lives in Wisconsin."

2. "I'm not moving to Wisconsin to be near said pastor, because I just bought a house in DELPHOS!"

3. "He's not my type. I mean, he's a "holy man" for crying out loud!"

4. "He'd be offended when in the middle of sex if I hollered out "Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh God!""

She comes back with:

1. "So."

2. "So"

3. "Heather, People change"

4. "Heather, I can't believe you even just said that!"

In overhearing this conversation, my mother is laughing to herself....while Brooke and I go back and forth on this...and again I say, "C'mon Brooke, I can't date someone like him!" While giving her a look...

And again she says, "Heather, people change!"...as she was clearly insinuating that I could be a better person, a more religious version of myself. Holy Heather if you will.

Finally, my mom interjects an says..."Brooke, I really don't see the pastor changing much!"

*laughs*....apparently, it was SO unfathomable that her daughter Heather could change for the better...that she thought it was surely the Pastor who'd have to change for ME!

Only my mom would know better....

Scenario #2

Today I went out riding with my friend Jim on his motorcycle, for one, because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to ride, and for two, things aren't going so hot with my new roommate, so I pretty much jump at the chance for ANYTHING to get me away from here....so I'm out riding and I miss a phone call from my mom. When we stop for a cigarette break at a nice State Park by the Lake, I call her to make sure it wasn't anything important. I tell my friend Jim, I already know she's going to ask me if I'm wearing a helmet, which incidentally, I'm not. Sure enough, after she tells me what she had called for, she asks what I'm doing today, I explain and she says, "are you wearing a helmet"...and I laugh and say "I knew you'd ask that, and no, I'm not wearing one!" And as I prepare myself for her to lecture me about how I will wind up brain dead in a hospital bed on life support, she comes back with "But Heather...Oh my, but what about your hair!?!?!?"

Once again, she shocks the hell out of me by not worrying about my brains leaking out of my broken skull on the road after an accident, but instead, she's worried my hair is a wreck. Maybe she knows that due to my bloodlines, I inherited the O***** hard head and that in an accident, my head would just crack the road, instead of it cracking me.

Mom's....ya gotta love em.

Goodbye....

This blog is officially over. I'm sorry. I just don't have any stories left to write.

*sobs*

I'M KIDDING!!!! lol....

I've just been really busy and on vacation and learning to live with my new roommate, so don't worry my pretties! I'll be back.

Oh, yeah, I got a new roommate. He's 21, he's Jewish, from Pennsylvania, and a cheerleader! So yeah, you KNOW I'm going to have stories.

Bear with me, I'll be on hiatus for a bit, but I'll be back. I do this every once in awhile, and I always come back.

.....To be continued.....

Shhhhhhhhh.....

The thing about a small town of old houses, a little collection of little people....is that at two twenty in the morning, when the moon is nearly full, water droplets of dew, clinging to every fertilized blade of grass and every hood of every car, through the thick humid air of spring...you find a kind of collected quietness....

a hush over everything....as we all slip into our slumber....

it's dark, but it's not.....

the quiet is eerily comforting....

for in a little down like this, you are never really alone.

Oh, No you diiiidn't!!

Shit, i fell off the wagon.

My that's a pretty sunset....

Vampires, Oh MY!

Well, I finished Twilight (book 1) last night....stayed up until 3:30 a.m. finishing it, I LITERALLY COULD NOT put it down, it was like...OMG! I know riiiiight! ;)

For you Twilight fans out there, yeah, yeah, alright, so I'm starting to see what all the fuss is about, Bella, Edward, Alice, Emmet...the pictures painted, painstaking love....danger, darkness, it has it all...I ADMIT IT, I kinda like the damn book!

There, you got me, I said it..."Hi my name is heather and I'm addicted to Twilight"....

You won't see a 24 x 36 Movie Poster on my wall or anything, but the detailed beautifully written account of a young girl and her love for a vampire won't be erased from my subconscious anytime in the near future.

I'm going to rent the movie this week too btw.

Oh and in a side note: I wanted to share with you a tale that confirms that while Vampires may be fictional...crazy people DO actually exist in the world. My sister was on the phone with one of her friends from out there in Wisconsin, who was at Walmart, standing in line, telling my sister about some leaked chapters from Twilight's author Stephenie Meyer...saying how she only thought there were two chapters online to read, not the full twelve that ARE out there...anyway, the woman behind her overhead her conversation of vampires and romance....and when my sister's friend ended the call, this woman engaged in a conversation with her, telling her that she had her very own Vampire Love...the proceeded to whip out her breast right there in the check out line at Walmart, to SHOW her her vampire bite wounds. I thought vampires went for the neck...I don't recall anyone sucking the blood out of their victim's breast...at least not in the literature I've read anyway...

yeahhhhhhhhhh....what do you say to something like that? Do you ask to see her fangs? say.."hey nice nipple ya got there"....Grab her arm to see if she's clammy and cold....quickly reach into your purse and whip out your compact to see if she has a reflection?

Nothing cool like that EVER happens to ME at walmart! Damnit, now I'm jealous!

Guess I'll just have to live vicariously through the life of random Wisconsin people....*sighs* For now...

Right now, he's out there....

wearing a tuxedo. Toasting his new bride.... dancing with his mother.... contemplating "til death do us part"....

I'm at home sipping a coors light, and eating a bean burrito... looking at my new bamboo blinds and thinking to myself.... "Damn those are some fine blinds!" Well they are....

It's hard to believe it's here already, my ex-husbands sequel to vow taking, but folks, it's true, there's a new Mrs. S. out there tonight, maybe not legally since I don't think our annulment went through yet, but yet, technically it's official.

He's married. Again.

My mom and I were headed to Lima after another fantastic morning spent at the coffee shop with my cousin Nicole, my aunts Susan and Diane, my grandma and mother...sipping lattes...nibbling on scones....and afterwards, as we drove by the Church, there it was....Saturday's event calendar with his and her names up in the bright lights....and I said, "Oh hey, look there....Keith S------ is getting married today!"...I kinda forgot about it to be honest, my mom shot me a look, maybe to see my reaction...was I upset, was I sad, smiling a shit-eating grin....?

I think I disappointed her when I just looked blankly....as if it wasn't really registering, the finality of this glorious occasion...but mostly when I think about my past life with him, I just feel numb. It's like you only get so many emotions to waste on someone, and once you've used up everything you got, there's nothing left to give to anything pertaining to it.

I just said "go in peace, serve the lord, and good luck!" We were by a church, it seemed like the right sentiment. Love one another and all that jazz...

So, while he's eating a $14.00 a plate catered dinner...as the balloons glisten in the disco ball light supplied by a cheesy DJ....I had a kick ass burrito, while he kisses the bride, I sat on my front porch reading book two of the Twilight series...and while he goes to bed tonight with his new bride...still in the happy phase of intoxication and wedding night bliss...I'll put on my pj's...crawl into my little double bed for one, with something he'll never have....

Peace.

Envious of him...I am not. Hopefully this marriage will have the "happily ever after" ending ours lacked.

~hl~